5 impossible things i want for Christmas

i challenge people to do this, just because.

• The Swing to return. The Swing, by the way, was an amazingly cool swing made of blue rope, hanging from a tree growing on a hill, so that when you swung, the ground just dropped away from you. i have never felt so free as when i was on The Swing. it was very inspiring. last spring, it was cut down...
• my cats to be friends. i had determined that they hate each other due to the reason of many wars: no, not oil, but religion. Lucy loves to sit on my lap as i tell her Christmas or biblical stories, Walker always hisses and claws at me/the book. so i have come to that very strange, sugar induced conclusion.
• some major plot bunnies. plot bunnies are those annoying, pesky, beautiful little ideas that come to you at inconvenient times- like as you fall asleep, when you are in the shower, or while taking the PSAT. i haven't had one in weeks- so Sod isn't even inching along, its just sitting there, and Dark Serenity( DS) is running on the chapters i wrote last month- and i'm running out.
• Snow, here, in my yard, at my gramma's, and enough to make a snowman. not gonna happen till 'the day after tomorrow' comes to life. still, i wish.
• world peace. who doesn't want it? oh, right, those people don't...well, i sure want it. anyone else with me on this one?

ok, so those were my five impossible Christmas wants. post yours!
anyway, more later

on the 3rd day till chrismas i...

OH HOLY NIGHT!
well, i survived finals. they included:
ping pong
two tests
a practice exit exam- no calculator.
a monologue i wrote- i was penny, an idealistic young penguin who things that the Obamadouble snowman ( don't ask) is holding the penguin's ability to fly captive in a jar- so i rally my friends and we try to 'rescue our captive inheritance!'
and...
i had to turn one of the creepiest books of all time- lord of the flies- into a gender reversed, child friendly picture book! in 5 days! agg!
but i did it, some how.

then on Sunday, i sang in church- me and sari, my friend sang, with mom on the violin and dad on the English horn. it was amazing.

I am largely responsible for any and almost all Christmas gifts- picking out, getting, wrapping. i have been for several years now. I'm finally done- i got everyone the perfect gift, i think. and no- I'm not telling. there is one gift though, that i loved to get, and omsc, it is so perfect for the certain person i got it for, and i wish i could see that persons face when s/he opens it.
and then there's the matter of yet another gift- one that i discovered to my shock/amazement/joy. i think i shouted in the store that it was a Christmas miracle.

but anyway, the gifts are wrapped, labeled and ready. the house is clean, including my room, and i even put all my books on the shelves- and have room to spare, since i sold about 100 of them- mostly cheap paperbacks and the store ripped me off, but hey.

i now have posted 3 chapters of 'dark serenity' and have several followers on fan fiction, making me very happy. I've got the fourth written down, though my SOD work has been slow. nothing done. still, Christmas is a time of magic- the plot bunnies will be coming soon, i hope.

mom's in a funk because of being tired and being in charge of Christmas eve and day dinners..so I've been doing all the other work- cleaning and reading aloud. we are reading 'the healer's keep' by Victoria Hanley. read it- read it, read it! it is amazing.

my friends genun and zary are on vacation- in ISRAEL of all places. and i learned how to make those cute origami wish stars. and I'm preparing for another monologue for the week after break
a speech from a book.
'The Goose Girl'
it's the one where Ani is being awesome and pwning the King/ king's counselors.
you know the one. 'you want evidence?'
that one.
if anyone has no clue what i'm saying, then as a Christmas gift, please for the love of good books, go read The Goose Girl, by Shanon Hale

speaking of books- is there anyone else who'd love to see Mary Wollstonecraft debate with Stephenie Meyer? if you don't know who MW is- she was a Philosphe who was bigg on equality of the sexes and that women should want the rights and not let me govern their rights, ect. ever elegent writting. i like her. she's dead- but still, i would LOVE to see them verbally duke it out. am i alone in this?

so happy holidays, whatever it is you celebrate- or at least have a merry-two-weeks-off.
anyway, more later.

OW! meOW!and snOW!

it rained today.
that is good and bad.
good: rain is my muse- i just seem to write better. and it makes the world so clean and green!
bad: the death trap my school calls a gym has a leaky roof. i discovered that one should avoid running through puddles today, even if they are trying to get the ball, and don't see the puddle, because this puddle isn't surrounded by plastic cones like the others.
ow...
so i chased after the ball, and didn't see the puddle, and my feet fly out from under me and crack. Ms. Anna's head meets Mr. Floor. i hurt.
so i went to the health center and they gave me ice ( did it help that i was crying and holding my head?) and tried to survive.'course, I'm not allowed to rest, just in case( no sleeping) so i had to skip my lunch time nap- i need one, i get up at 5 for pity's sake!
and all through the day THEY have a good laugh about how my hair didn't protect me. i finally said" Antoine, can it. contrary to popular belief, although it is semi-water proof, my hair is not a force field'. and i stalked off.
speaking of stalking off- i no longer like Erin Hunter'
s Warriors- not because my tastes have matured, but because i simply think that the plot is ridiculous and awful- so i no longer like it. the first arc is still OK, but the others- i really don't like them. on the topic of books- the little fantasy/sci-fi shop by my school has foster kittens living in the back. aw, so cute!
it snowed here.
did you read that right?
it. snowed. here.( here being the top of the hill where i live- 900 ft above my home)
here. in CALIFORNIA. IN THE BAY AREA. SNOW.
yes, snow. the fluffy white flaky stuff that's cold, and melts.
that means it was below freeing.
better go find my long johns. and ski-parka. its only going to get colder.
anyway, more later. unless that bump on my head IS a concussion and it gets way, way, way below freezing here, in which case there will be no more later. lets not dwell on that.

dreary.

warning: there will be hints at swearing. only in quotes.

i had a Great, glory weekend. I cleaned my room while listening to Les Miz soundtrack, singing along! I also began work on a digimon fanfic, entitled 'Dark Serenity'. I Posted chapter one, and got some positive reviews, so I'm glad. I plan on updating it once a week- long enough to build suspense, but not long enough to drive readers insane with worry. Its been really fun to work on- I've had the plot in my mind for months but i'm only just starting to write it.( give it a try if you feel like it...)
Sadly, my Glory gave way to sorrow. P.E. Personal Endangerment. Painful Endurance. In short, hell on earth.
today was horrid.i was forced into being goalie,and the other team- we are playing team handball- through the ball hard. even some of my own team pummeled me. Finally i couldn't take anymore- i could hardly stand. the ball slammed into my upper arm- the same arm that still hurt from being knocked to the ground twice the day before. i started to cry, the pain overwhelming. I limped to the sidelines, and the teacher came over' is there anything i can do' ' that's what happens when you are goalie' etc. i just wanted to be alone.
leaving the gym, Alma, the bane of my existence, my personal devil to go with my personal hell, got in my face. in her getto-girl accent( though shes not, she only acts like it) she asked' you got it.' well, I'm crying and limping and holding my left arm to my chest in an awkward position. does she need to ask, i wonder? no, she only needs confirmation.
" it's'a rubber ball, they don't hurt, faker. you need to toughen up, wimp.' she said more, but i don't hear. my blood boils.
i did something then, in the moment, i flipped her off. i didn't mean to- it just happened. I'd been getting better about swearing and anger, but i was so angry. how DARE she tell me if i am in pain or not!
i did it to her back, after she's knocked me to the ground, but a leech tells her. she starts harassing me, calling me names, saying 'I'm gonna beat your motherf***ing ***' and other things, getting in my face, calling me a b****. i only cry silently- harder. I'm so sick of this. of all of this. everything. i wrote on my math paper, over and over, ihatethishellihatethishellihatethishell...
i want it to end.
don't give me that look. i don't want to die. i'm not that kind of person. i just want the pain to stop, to be able to cry when i hurt, to not have to worry what each day brings.
my father says i look thinner.
when your heart rate goes up, you burn calories. my heart rate is always up- worrying that today will be the day my bones give out, my weak ankles snap, my abused fingers crack, my ribs, so sick of the jabs and handballs, break, and i hit the floor from the agony, and crack my skull. it will happen. not today, not tomorrow. but one day. one day. and so my heart beat quickens the moment i hear the bell ring' beep beep. beep beep.' and the whistle is blown.
to day i limped the rest of the day. last week my left hand was useless from numbness. yesterday my lips were bloody from biting them so hard to keep from crying- to keep from drawing the attention of the jackals.
my guardian angles have abandoned me.
anyway, more later.

Any one know the rules of Handball?

maybe you can help me, then.
question:
How many penalty shots does team 'A' get if the whole of team 'B' mob, tackle, grab/slap at a team "A" player, who happens to hold the ball??? according to my P.E. teacher, 'Ms. Smith' none, but then, she was in the other room( the gym we play in is two adjoining rooms- she was in one, teams A and B in the other at the time of the Incident) and ignored me when i tried to tell her- because, you guessed it, i, the human-sports-equipment- magnet, was that player.
nothing was broken- but i hurt everywhere. it took my team 3 minutes to get them to stop- but either they never called Smith, she didn't hear( likely) or didn't care( leaning towards this one!)
i was hurt, and so tired of losing- the locker room jeers are sickening, and when the other team gets a goal,( the girls anyway) they scream as if Edward Cullen himself was entering the room. i swear, when I'm forced into being goalie (Smith tells me i need to 'support the team') it is no longer a game- it's as if the other team thinks its a war- and the ball is a bomb or spear or bullet- like I'm to die. my bruises have bruises.
a few impossible things i didn't believe before P.E
* P.E doesn't stand for Physical Education. ( it really stands for 'personal endangerment')
* that it is possible to have the wind knocked out of one 5 times in 4 minutes.
* that even foamy-soft balls will hurt like the devil when they make impact.
* that the teacher won't notice any of these things at all.

and she really doesn't. i asked her once, after the 5 handballs to the chest, if she would please remind the class that it is a game- and no one should be getting hurt.( after all, i can't think of a single reason for the ball to repeatedly hit me in the upper chest( yes, that kind of upper chest) and face, when the goal net only comes to the top of my KNEES!!!!
anyway more later

when did i post last- i've forgotten and that can't be good

well, i hpoe you all had a great weekend/vacation thing.
how was mine?
good, it was good.
i hung out with laralu( henceforth called Sahara) and Emmza- we saw 1 movie, 'bueaty and the beats': a latter day tale'
it was cheesy, but good. all i can say is this- only two of you will get it- creepy-stalker-guy needs to go die in a corner!!!
we went for a hike up mt. diablo- short but i was in boots and didn't have my brace with me. poor planning, i know, but i didn't think that i was going to be hiking! but i got through it, and the cousins and i had a laugh or two. or five. dozen.
we made some randomocities- silly cousin made vidios that will go on youtube one day soon- i think. gimme a year.
i was pleased with what Mouse- a cousin- has been up to- reading some of the best books of my List.
**quick note about the List.
the List is a list of books- several sections. books i read and loved, and books i will read. it isnt all written down, but if i took the time to type it all up, complete with authors ect, it would span several pages.***
anyway, so, on the hike, we discussed
Percy Jackson- the best male main charater Greek myths meet modern world series i've read( the femal best is 'the Shadow theives)
Island- that led to a high pitched talk about how the King of Pure Adventure( no fantasy/romance elements, very little Mystery) Gordon Kormon, is going to be authoring the next'39 clues' book.

then Seth-another cousin- joined in, and we discussed the joy that is Fablehaven and the Sisters Grimm- both amazing fantasy series.

we also went on a bike ride- again, i was not forewarned and had to ride a bike with a ghard seat, strange gear system, high crossbar( frame thingie) and a helmet that not only made it hard to breath, but also was so small, it didn't protect my forhead...sigh.
i never seem to get comments when i do long posts. please comment!

oh- i discovered the glory that is fan fiction. Digimon fanfiction- oh, glory! hours and hours i spend reading/ writting digimon fanfics! i feel silly, but i just LOVE digimon. the whole idea has always beenclose to my heart- 8 kids save the world- and become friends. maybe because i wanted to do something like that, something huge and meaningful- so that people would remember me. and i remember wishing for friends like them( the digidestend..) oh, the cuteness of youth.
also-i started work on a mini story- just a little short piece while i wait for some Sod and U insperation to hit. its about a girl, who in a world/relm where everyone is born with a gem/jewel, amust prove her selfworth when she is born with a dull brown pebble. i don't have the slightest clue whats going to happen, but pella's been more than kind in telling me her tale.

hrrm.
well, i'm going to quit boring you. g'night.
anyway, more later

Of Weekends, Funks, Drama Class and Plot Bunnies

well, hi- i haven't blogged in a while- not really. i said a bit of news that everyone else knew, and that was it. so, here is some blogging!

well, my weeks bee ok- i had Monday and Tuesday off because of veteran's day and teacher-meeting day, so that was cool. i stuck around the house, wrote an essay on 'Lord of the Flies', ate candy, saw so movies( 'flipper','forbidden kingdom', 'kit','Doogle' and 'the boy who could fly') i re-listened to an audio book 'pillage' by Obert Skye. mom had a concert for all her students, and i was in a funk- see the post on Hedgi's blog, http://gloryandsorrow.blogspot.com' for a more adequate interpretation of what i felt then, and them it came to a head when one of the mothers brought cake- chocolate cake. chocolate cake with COFFEE and alcohol(only a little) in it. some of you may know the little 'word of wisdom' song: oh, we don't do tobacco, alcohol or tea, for they are just like coffee, not good for you or me. why? because we're Mormon.....' etc, so i couldn't eat any of it- so i left the house and went on a walk.
i was still in a funk Sunday, but on Monday i got my room clean and read books and ate candy- oh right, forgot to tell you that this whole time,the comp was at the shop getting fixed.
then on Tuesday i went with Sari and her little bro to the plaza, and we went to B&n, where i found out that she has read the first to books in an awesome series( click HERE for review) and didn't know that the rest were out yet. so, on Sunday, i will be lending her the next 4 books in that series, the entire set of the companion trilogy( as in, companion to that series) and a separate trilogy by the same author- because, lets face it, when it comes to strait fiction/adventure( no romance, or fantasy, or sci-fi, maybe a tiny bit of mystery) Gordon Korman is king. then we went to a lovely little candy store, got lots of candy, and went yo the pet store to see the little fuzzies. we saw mice, hamsters and rats- but not the cutest of all- chinchillas. they are highly cute. if you don't know what they look like, they are small, mostly grey bunny things. they look like a bunny running at top speed that crashed into a cement wall. the do!

then wed- not much happened- though i did re-start working on a certain mind story that i am planning on turning into a novel( most of my non-fanfic mind stories are destined to become something like that, i just ignore them for a while, after the cursed Plot Bunnies( my term for little plot ideas that randomly bounce into your head and don't leave you alone till you write them down; coming at the most inopportune time- like right as you fall asleep, or in the middle of a math test) stop coming. i will be referring to it as 'U' short of "untitled" because for the life of me, i have no idea what to call it.
it's set in another world- where every single person has some kind of talent or gift/power' for example, 'i' as it is another first person story, with a few chapters from third person, have large, sparrow like wings. 'my' best friend controls tempests/storms. our friend reads thoughts, ect.
its got some real potential, i think. like most of my stories, there is a Prophecy- but this one is far more vague- my other one says this will happen, then this, then this. this one says stuff like 'this must happen, so and so must do this, and the world must do this or fall into darkness.' it keeps talking about 'The Song'. not even 'I' know what it is. but back to what i was saying- in this world, Peace( a person like being) has been gone for 100 years, and the world is torn in two by a huge war- everyone sides with one army or the other- by law. neither side is 'good' or 'evil' i, as the author, don't even know how this war started(better figure that out) but anyway, U is the tale of a girl and her friends whose parents risk everything by passing down the stories of how life once was, and how the world might be once more. so, yeah. i feel i can do plenty with it.
the thing is, when i started, i had it sent on earth- because on character, Erick, has no power other then some serious common sense- and a race of 'mutants' were fighting it out, good and evil, with humans joining the 'good' side, and it was good- i had a Washington D.C battle idea and everything . then i finished watching 'avatar' and decided that it'd be nice to expand on the whole 'Killing the 'Bad guy' isn't the answer' thing. sorry if i just ruined avatar for anyone. and that setting it in a diff world would be nice- i mean, if you've got two sides of a huge war, they might as well do it at home, particularly if we aren't killing the 'bad guys' which is, really, the whole govt, because Earth government would get angry and there'd be bombs and the whole story really has nothing to do with humans( aside from Erick- but he can just be lacking in 'gift') but anyway, moving on!
then yesterday i started working on the climax for DOW- because i work backwards mostly. the Plot Bunnies give me a climactic scenario-
i figure out the following
Who- who are the charries
what-is happening exactly
how- did they get into this mess
Why- did any of this happen
huh- any other details.

take DOW
who- nida(me) is
what- trying to save her friend
how-because he was kidnapped by Shadows( antagonists) to
why- force nida into surrendering something, which is
huh- a magical amulet containing the power of the sea.

and so i know the climax best, and as i progress in the story, i rewrite it. before, nida jumped out the window- now she jumps into the lake. in a week or so, she'll do something different. and mom and i finished 'book of a thousand days' it is well loved. My Lord the cat! My Lord the cat! i love my cats even more now!( My Lord is it's name, the cat in the book- i'm not breaking Commandment #3, i promise!)

and today i blogged.
and in drama preformed my commercial.
in drama, we split into groups and created a product- then made a commercial for it.
our/my product was the 'ipod omni'
the size of a cereal box, it
knits sweaters
makes pie
takes video and pics
has a shotgun
makes phone calls
has Internet access
cleans your room
does homework
takes care of siblings and pets.
everything short of playing music.

and it has a looooong list of side effects, including but not limited to : Black death, dental hydroplosions,freezer burn, hair loss, fatigue, appreciation of Brittney Spears, Ebola, and Death. there were lots more, i don't care to list them.

it was soo funny!


so, yeah, thats about it :)
so, anyway, more later!

update having nothing to do with politics.

so, whats up ppl?
ok, so. well, two weeks ago i was having a crappy week- and monday was also really crappy.
but then again, oh the magisty of november first and second?
my first ever play-where-i-had-more-than-2-lines.
on closing night this is what i wrote in my notebookof thing to blog-
"how can i describe this night? i feel like crying- but i'm smilling and laughing, and yet i'm sad and joyus all at once.
today was the second-and final- preformance of 'Dog-Ear'
although i never did blog about the stress it caused me, of the weekend i didn't sleep more than 6 hours total due to long rehersalse and a 26 page book report, i wanted to, but never had time. but, stars, it was worth it, every second of loss of sleep, every tear. i feel light as air, but sad that it's all over, i never want it to end!
the cast, the crew, everyone was wonderful. its all memories now, and in 50 years, my torn, crumpled script with the blue and salmon highlighted marks, and margian notes and glued in bits- might be worth something- the sript of 'Narrator' from Strangefellows Collective's first play. and my prophecy- the Narrator's prophecy that is,-'you'll regret this! you'll grow old, and die, and no one will remember you'- shouted to Ell and Ian- will never come to pass, because at least one person, at least i, will never forget. never forget my long speech, shouted ofver the tumalt of an ending 'gone wrong'. never forget the costumes- the trench coats and leather and bandannas and victorian blouses, never forget the group hugs, or the cookies. never forget the shadow puppet bunny eating carrots."
the play was great- and if you want to know the plot- email me.

yeah, moving on.
so, i'm an annoying brat sometimes- i don't mean it most of the time, but sometimes, i can be a real pain. i admit it!
anyway- a few weeks ago i was short with one of the girls in my drama class- she was yelling practicly in my ear while i was trying to listen to the teacher- and it gets old after 2 months- so..i told her to shut up.
i shouldn't have- i'm always jugde so diffently than others-
they can call me a B**** but the second i tell them to shut up, i'm a horrible person. why is high school such a hell? this was an elective class, for pity's sake- no one should be aloud to take it if they don't care! it just isn't right to the rest of us! now, if this was in an english class, i'd be mum now, because that can't be helped. but i guess this can't either.
it escilated on monday- to the point of the sub not caring and me fleeing the room in tears.
thing were said- names, insults, a barage- about 15 voices united- aganist me, saying things that should never be said- i won't repeat them. but i ran, and i ran- and locked myself in the bathroom and cried. two friends followed me, and i owe them so much. they mean so much to me.

pet peave time:
sometimes i need to cry, and i will- i can think of many example, but won't share them- but people will come up and ask why, and i'll explain. they will then try to get me to stop crying by: assuring me that 'it's ok' or that 'it's not as bad as i think'
lectuing me about why i shouldn't be crying
telling me to 'ignore the problem and it'll go away'( never mind that its not so much blank's presance but the memories it stirs)
telling me all the reasons i should be happy
one of 15 people might possibly hug me.
but only about one person out of all the many have ever understood- i don't want to be comforted, or lectured or instructed- i just need to cry, and cry, and cry.
check out this rather long poem-http://Gloryandsorrow.blogspot.com
it explains the feeling better than i can here.
so anyway, thats the past few weeks in a nutshell.
oh, lat thing: i created a new soundtrack of my life- i'll post the link later.
and i've had SOD writters block dispite the arivel of my muse-Rain
but i've got some Great Digimon fanfic ideas, so its not all bad.
join bookbats.
and now i'm done, peace.
anyway, more later

today history was made

today, oh today!

first off- yeah, i'm a bad blogger. i'll catch you all up on the glories and sorrows of my life later- next week.
but oh, today history was made! at 8:15, Pacific time, McCain conceded. tonight, America has a new President, Barack Obama.
the First Black President of the United States of America.
Glory be!
i hope you all( 18 and over) voted. because each vote means something- particularly on the props.
oh boy- the props.
prop 8...well. it looks like it will pass. i can't believe it, but it might.this makes me sad
so i'm Mormon. and Mormons are taught that homosexuality is a sin. but this is a point where the Church and i just don't see eye to eye. i'm not for homosexuality, not against.
it is my dogma that everyone is equal in the eyes of God, darn it, and no one should have different rights based on who they are. God created every one- He is the Father of us all, and by golly!
if you don't like gay marriage- then don't have one! but why deny the rights of others? if it make that much of a difference- we ought to give it its own name- don't call it marriage, if that's what bugs you. but the rights need to remain the same, for all. thats my take on it.
so yeah. today was a day that will go down in history. and tomorrow, i will wear a blue toga, be cause it's spirit week and tomorrow's toga day.
anyway, more later

expanding on ideas that i shared with my mother over breakfast

please  read the previous post if you haven't yet, as it is full of things, i know its dense, but i do reference it a bit and it is very magical!
so. lets get the facts down.
I'm all for racial equality, its just. not. at Berkeley high, there are clubs and events JUST for Latinos, or Asians, or blacks..but people from various European countries- we get none of that- and I'll bet if i tried to make a club, I'd become 'racist'! it's infuriating. if we have 'African American studies' then we can't we have 'Scandinavian' studies? sure, my ancestors weren't slaves- they were just dirt poor and not allowed to work because they were Irish, or Scottish.
if they have 'Pacific islander and Asian club' why is it racist for me to want an 'Italian' club?
i mean, its kinda annoying. ever year, i see the posters for 'Black Grad.' and other things that i can't be a part of. i don't fit into the tiny bubbles formed in this school. its a mixed school, pretty even, but...
a lot of the kids are so defensive, and it gets on my nerves. if a teacher moves a students seat, and he's[student] black and she's not, she's suddenly 'racist'. the word is thrown around a lot, used to describe 'unfairness' now. it used to have a deeper meaning. it still does, i 'm not saying that real racism isn't around- it is, and that's bad. but lately, it seems that EVERYTHING is biased, not for light skeined people, but against them. I'm lucky to grow up in Berkeley, where  debates fill classrooms, the Obama mobile drives around-yet some still have McCain stickers. it is a very divers place, but i just feel so alone, so un-included when i see signs for the Asian/Pacific Islander Association.
but back to bubbles. i told someone in one of my classes about filling in 'other', i felt rather proud you see, and she said(she's my friend) that why did i do that, they need to know that stuff.' i replied 'well, i didn't see a bubble marked 'Italian-Scottish-Swedish- American' so i filled in other. i don't fit in a bubble, and i most likely never will. nor will practically anyone in this country or many others. we live in a changing world. lets live up to it.
i really, truly urge PPLto fill in other, because there is no bubble labeled with what you are.
i long for a day when the PPL that look over the tests realize- on every test, the 'other' bubble is filled in. every test. i know, in my mind, that this will in all likelihood, never happen. but i keep on dreaming. i too, dream of a colorblind world, a world were no one understands why race or religion would be grounds for discrimination. i know that this won't come to pass until the Millennium( ask your nearest Mormon if you don't know what i mean) but still, that it's coming. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. but i have faith that it is coming. and i hope that I'm ready when it comes.

well, now i have finished my little bit about messages to the world and such.
happy stuff of today: i kept my gal: only swear three times. I've been having a problem with swearing, and decided to try to stop. i allowed myself three today, and i stayed within the limit. i feel very happy. 
i found a copy of 'Undertown' a manga I've been wanting to read for months, at the library. i also got a few ideas for SOD during PE. that reminds me!
the last week, we've been doing a tournament in PE, volleyball of course. well, yesterday, the team captain was gone, so I was the sub -captain! me! the best part?. we won both games. I'd been praying to do better- get over my fear of the ball, and i did better. today, we played the second place team( we were in first) and, well. the score was-
42-25.
we had that 42. i even scored 6 of the points! i feel so very, very happy!
well, thats about it.
so, anyway, more later

psats, Dogear, a tad bit of ranting and a mindstory update

so..been a bit since i lats blogged, but i have been swamped! gone before dawn, back after black( the sky) my days go from 5:00 am to around ten, when i fall asleep. and then there's the middle of the night water trips, or dealing with cat( i am SO sick of ppl telling me to put the cat out- if i do that IT GOES MEOW! and makes even more noise. so! and i'm writing all this while listening to the soundtrack of my life, otherwise known as my youtube playlist, as i have yet to get a functional ipod. i have also moved into my new room. the move into said new room is 95% compeat, i still have some stuff downstairs. anyway, onward!
PSATs
the sophs at BHS took them yesterday. they were ok, some of the math was hard, i didn't know a few words(only one or two!) but i think i did well. although everyone i asked(in a poll afterward) filled in the bubble that society considers them(white, black American, Asian/Pacific islander, Latino/a, i bubbled in other. i know, i know' they need to know, to help me. well, since when does the color of my skin have SQUAT to do with what i know? and besides, i didn't see' Northern European' on there. i didn't see' German' or 'Scottish' or 'Italian' on there!i didn't 'French' on there. i never even saw' European' just white. what about Russia? even though its in Asia, i bet Russians are just 'white' it . makes. me .so. sick! I AM NOT A BUBBLE! I am ANNA *******************(omitting last and middle names) AND I AM "OTHER" so there. i urge you to do likewise. please. for the sake of change. c'mon.
also, they say 'you have 30 minutes. i love that. only- i finish early most times- they tell you not to guess- you get points taken off for wrong answers. so i finished fast. and wrote the climax of my novel, SOD, version 5, in eraser on my desk. it was fun! but i've forgotten my wording. however i recall the idea. i still have my first ever draft of the end. a summery of the end, really, so changed! so, so changed! its v. diff from any of the other ending, and i like it better- i shall reveal this new ending idea to no one!, so if you thought you knew- maybe you don't now! ha!


DOGEAR
dogear is the play i am in. i've been going to rehearsals everyday almost, for about 3 hours. it's hard work, but it is a really great play. the writer is a great guy, and really funny. the plot is as follows- minus awesome suprise ending that even the characters do not see coming!
in a disatopian semi-future, everything is corporate. all coffee is Starbucks, all sandwich's are subway, all books are chain bookstore. the libraries are dead, with no funding. but, enter ian and ell, a middle aged, book store accountant and adventures, idealistic coffee girl, who are pulled into a ..conspiracy to undermine the system and bring back library's, in this play about readers, rebels, and writing your own ending. i'll post show times and places later. it is free.


tad bit of ranting
so i'm mormon, everyone here knows it, right? well, you do now.  most other sects of Christianity don't think of us as Christians, which to me makes no sense, i mean, i believe in God, i Believe in my Savior, Jesus Christ and that He died for my sins and the sins of the world. can't we all get along, please? but no... it seems we can't.
my Pet Peave of the day: when someone tells you to 'just ignore it' DON'T YOU GUYS GET THAT IT JUST DOESN"T WORK FOR SOME THINGS?
so i've been having issues with a couple of Born-agains. i respect that they believe in that, and i'd be perfectly fine with the whole thing, i try to fallow that one bumpersticker' coexist ' written in religious symbols. but THEY won't leave me alone. they tell me daily that i'm' not christian' 'am following the devil' 'am going to burn in hell' and various other things. the first few days i ignored it.( if you want to know how it is they know, i was com paining to a friend about seminary.)
after that, i started saying ' when, i personaly DO believe in Jesus Christ, and axcept Him as my Savior. what is your definition of being Christian?' or  ' believe what you want, and i'll believe what i want. no, can we get back to the math?' or someting like that. finaly, i blew up and shout, at lunch, after many days' fine, see you there' i stoprmed off feeling angery and quite proud. didn't last long, but hey.
a few days before this, he brought up batism for the dead( which, btw, is in the new testement as well!) and i said something like 'well, yeah.  what about ppl that didn't learn about christ?' and he kept going on about everyone knowing somehow, and i'm like 'well, how about the ppl in , oh, say, AFRICA 80 years before his birth? how could they have known?' do they need to burn in hell. its just a little strange...' and turned asreound but he kept going on, and on, and on. so right now i am very sick of bornagains. not all born-agains, just two.but oh!
why cant everyone just respect everyone elses beliefes? for heavens sake!. sigh.
'we claim the privlage of whorshiping almighty God acording to the dictates of our own consience and alow ALL men( and children and women) the same privlege, let them worship how, where or what they may.' the end! i ahgree! unless thebelieve involves : belittling others, killing people. and i'm pretty sure most don't involve those... the POLITICAL part of a religion might, but not the SIRITUAL park. i think. not sure...hmm. but didn't Jesus say ' whatsoever you do to the least[ and presumily all others] of my brethern, you do unto me'? so when someone  condems ME to hell...woohee! i guess ole bornagain better stop. but seriosly. is it really so hard to respect? really? no ones asking you to agree, or convert , just acknolage , and not be mean. 

mind story update
Sod is henceforth my main focus, however i keep a notebook abd computer files with various ideas and storys that i play around with at randown times, including 'DotW' 'Ikenna', ' Whisper of earth and sky'aka 'Remembering Peace', 'unicornboy'(only  mindstory thus far) and ' child of the elements.'
plot summaries will be posted  when i a. have time.
b. creat sentaces to go with ideas.
c. give a back story to the random charater profiles!

anyway, it is late, (but i have no seminary tomorrow, haliluja!) so off i go. i bet no one read this whole thing....

anyway, more later

Alexander's got nothing on me.

you've all read the story, i presume.
'Alexander and the no good, very bad, horrible rotten day.'
welcome to my world.
lets look at my life yesterday:
5:00 am: get woken early by shower(located just next to my room)
5:20: shower- most warm water gone
6:00-6:15: bike to seminary- in the dark, cold predawn. without gloves. 2 miles. downhill.
6:15-7:00: seminary
7:15- 8:30: do homework from last night
8;30-9:30: PE. we play volleyball. my face and said volleyball become acquaintances. twice. OW!, OW!, OW!; while the other team, made up of boys, laugh, and taunt. every time the score they start cheering loudly, and get on our side of the net, and every time we miss, they laugh and jeer. no sane person would ever, ever, ever even THINK about giving them a sportsmanship award. heck, not even an INSANE one.
9:30 to 10:30: science- nothing much happens.
10:30-11:30: math- what more must i say? i detest numbers!
11:30-12:15: lunch- do more homework. eat. get ready for Lord of the Flies discussion
12:15-1:15: drama- ok, we play games, but..my back HURTS and i feel rather faint.
1:15-2:15: English- still feel ill, can't remember most of Lord of the Flies chapter 7.
2:15-3:15: history- make a poster, feel bad about my lack of artistic skills, get very Hungary
3:15-4:30: go to the north branch of the BPL, do homework.
4:30-6:15: best part of the whole day, a rehearsal for the play I'm in, Dogear(more on this later) though i have more lines than just about anyone, i only need to memorize a few! yay!
6:15-6:39: get to bus stop, get so hungry, i eat the remains of my lunch- an icky, hard sandwich crust.
6:39-7:10: bus ride
7:10-7:16: bike home from bus stop, in the dusk-dark.
7:17: get home, collapse
7:30: dinner
8:00: get ready for bed
8:05-9:00: read 'the Siren Song'
9:05: SLEEP!

and then get up this morning at 5:00 again. oh, the joy.
and today, my rehearsal lasts from 5:00-8:00. lovely.
today:
4 subs
not playing 1 mile- no volleyball, thank starclan!- run in PE, i think id rather do volleyball, so long as i'mMr. hit-the-ball-in-AnnaDee's-face-and-then-laugh-my-butt-off.
but alas.....
up b4 dawn, back after dark, thats me. joy.
anyway, more later.

i WAS going to find a title for this from a book....

but i was lazy.
plus..
ALL MY BOOKS ARE PACKED!
that's right, packed into boxes, 6 of them
because my new room is done and I'm moving in, and I'm getting a new bookshelf, one that reaches the ceiling! but for now, my books are packed.
other reasons for my being so very happy today:

• i auditioned for a play on Friday- and got in! tomorrow is our first rehearsal!
  
• my new room is beautiful!
• i now have 16 members on BOOKBAT'S WORLD.
• the fourth Fablehaven book is done- editing starts today!
• Jessica Day George is writing yet another dragon book, as well as a sequel to 'ball of the midnight princess' which i STILL need to read.

• i reached a milestone in my novel, SOD. page 55!( and this is computer, microsoft word, no top or bottom margin, no space twixt chapters pages i'm talking about)
  
• i came up with about  3 new ideas for mindstorie- finaly! i've been doing repeats and re-runs for almost 2 weeks now!
• i've been reading a lot of really good books lately!

the stuff that makes me rather un-happy.

• today, after mentioning that i 'couldn't get through the thrid narnia book'( i just..got bored! i maen, no susan, no story!) someong, who shall remain nameless even after i become a world famose fantasy author( i alow my self ! fantasy future per week) told me that i 'could'nt read worth s***. this made me mad. i mean, how dare he? i mean, maybe i hate lord of the lies, and didn't like 'voyage of the dawn tredder' but..for goddness sakes, i MEMORIZED anidori's speech( you know the one, 'believe me, ther is. no. war!') i've read hundreds of books that were so well written i started to cry, regardless of the happy or sadness of the ending.  just because i think 'twilight' is dumb' or 'dawn treder' is dense( and by that i mean the style of writting, not the inteligence)  that does not mean that i can't read worth 'S***' anyone who knows me knows why i was incredibly tempted to reagrange that anyoing, three inches taller than me, freshman's face. it would have beenb stupid, and i knew it, so i didn't. but, oh, how i WISH i had the power of Windspeaking...oooh!
• today was science lab. what more do i have to say?
• the BPL, my best friend and arch nemisis, has 4 copies odf 'book of a thousand days, wich Mom and i were going to read.

•  2 are checked out. 1 is 'missing' the other is at the north branch. last week, i put in a request. that means they get the book from the branch , bring it to the branch you asked, and it's on the hold shelf..its been over 5 days..nothing. AND the two that are checked out? yeah, they both were renewed. on saturday! i put in the request on thursday. if there's a waiting list, you can't renew something, darn it! or so I was told. but the library seems to think.. at least once a month i get one of those letters: this is your final notice, return " so and such' and pay the fee, ect, ect...' and i'm like, wha? final notice? try FIRST notice. and i returnd that gahbingled thing a week ago, before the due date! so i go, and i stand, and i wait in line, and i say' i returned this, go look.' and they look, and they find it, on the shelf, and say 'sorry bout that,' and take the letter i got and throw it away.. w.t.h.????!!!

but anyway, i'm still very happy right now.
right now, i love the world. dispite humanity's messups, and ickiness and hate and war, beauty is stilll all around. though the gloom of hate surounds, so does the joy  of love.
a quote from a great book, Shadow spinner." i'm not ashamed of loving him, theres nothing wrong with loving someone. it's hateing- that's whats wrong.'
the book treats with a young muslim girl during the end of the thousand and one nights. marjan is a storyteller, inspired by her hero, shararazad. when she tells a tale the queen hhad never before known, she is taken to the queen, to help. when marjan asks how she can love a sultan that would kill her, even if she has just given birth, for failing to entertain him, the words above are her reply. listen to her wisdom.  do not be ashamed to love, never, eveer.
anyway, more later.

and a meow to you too.

10 pts to anyone who can tell me: what book that came from
and who said it! ha, sweert revenge!
my poem went awsome, i had for subs on tusday, wensday was awful, but lets not dwell, yesterday- what happend?
and now: today.
nothing much to say. one quote, from genun.
discusing shakespear, and wether or not he wrote 'his plays' with mr mike, genun breaks in
' of course he wrote them! if he says he wrote them, then he did, just like i wrote the bible'
this struck me as funny!
other funnyness:
1. anyone who has not, go right this second and read sarah beth dursts blog- section 'obscuye fairy tales- its so worth it. link is to you left.
2. bubber stickers!
i saw a great one this morning-"Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car'

lol!
anyway, more later

HAPPINESS!

happy, happy, happy!
where do i begin?
ok, so on friday, we had AUDITIONS
not for a school play, or talent show, no, for something even better,
the Berkeley Rep's Yellow Jacket showcase!
let me explain.
a few weeks ago, my class went to see the play, Yellow Jackets.
on Monday, there is a Showcase, at the Berkeley Rep, at noon( i think..or 12:15)
for responses to the play- scenes, monologues,poems, songs, ect.
lots of BHS students will be in it.
each class gets seven minutes- so we had to pick, who, out of my drama class, would represent us.
well, my teacher did.
they picked 4 of us.
Asia.
Wyatt.
Phoebe.
and...ME!
i feel so happy.
i'll be preforming my poem 'Did You Know'
it's about how people see me based on things they know-how i look, where i live, ect, and how i respond to it.
oh, i am very happy.
and my site has 16 members now!(i want to make it to 20 by haloween. JOIN already! or tell a friend who might want to. pretty please?)
and i'm writing down all the ideas i've had for stories that i've scraped- that's all of them, besides SOD.
because in 20 years i might think, "hey, i can make something out of that story idea  now-what was that prophecy...how did that song go?" and i can look it up in  Absolute, Complete and Utter Randomness. and find the basic plot, thoughts for climaxes, character profiles and any Prophecies or songs that may be included.
plus i'm abount to begin reading "ECLIPES"
no, not THAT eclipes, don't even think i would TOUCH that book again, much less READ it, much less be HAPPY about reading it! no, no, no!
ECLIPES, by erin hunter- book 5 of 'Warriors: the power of three'
you know, i've read books with either the title, series title or subtitle 'the power of one, 'the power of two', and 'the power of  three.'
maybe i should write 'the power of four. hrmm...j/k

but anyway, i am very thrilled- and a bit nervouse- about this latest warriors book. i mean, the proluge was very forboding, and tcm rather spoiled something for me-something that worries me very much!
but i supose i should just read the dratted thing, and then i'll know. still, im in the middle of about 5 books just now
east- english
rise of a hero- sari recomended it, and irs great
lord of the flies- for english
the bar code rebelion- put on hold because i realized its a book 2, and i don't have acsess to the first
pretties- i just read 'uglies and must find out what happens next!
and i'm reading 'shadow theives' to mom, though we are almost done.
AND dad says i can move into my new room tomorrow! YAYAYAYAYA!
anyway, more later

today is not my day

uggg.
 see this? this is my' im having an icky day today' face
:*(
on my way to seminary( oh the joy of that itself!)
a cat leaped out in front of me. i didn't know what the heck it was, only that it was movement, so i swerved, just a little, hit the breaks, just a little.
but enough.
i didn't see the slowing curb, and 10 seconds after the cat leaped, i'm sprawled on the ground, scraped up, leg under my bike.
i;m not bleeping, and nothings broken, and i get on my bike, although my knee and elbow hurt, and ride to church.
i was so tired!
first period came PE. i couldn't sit out, b/c the teacher grades us on points, 5 a day, for participation and other junk.
if you sit out, you no get points.
you can make up points by running a timed mile, under 9 minutes, after school.
yeah, me? can't do that.
hello, knee huts. hello, out of shape, hello bunion that's driving me crazy because it picks the most inopportune times to ache like the dickens! O. MY. STARCLAN!
WHY, WHY, WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME SO? WHY AM I SO GENETICALLY TIGHT! WHY CAN'T I EVEN TOUCH my knees WITHOUT BENDING THEM WITHOUT HORRID, AWFUL PAIN! life really, really stinks right now.

so i'm sitting here, typing, with my thighs aching and my bunion on fire and my elbow throbbing and my calves screaming  and my knee hurting and i just want to cry.

but i can't. i just can't. because now i feel bad, because there are so many others out there suffering more, and i'm complaining about falling off my bike and scraping an elbow, like a child. but i can't help it! is it wrong to complain? to say that i hate this, that if i did have the surgery to take away my bunion so i could RUN again and not hurt, i'd be confined to bed for months? and be in crutches for even longer after that? is it?

there, i've said it, i've put my pain on paper. but i still hurt and ache and crap.
and i don't want to sit here, and i don't want to write a paper for science thats due on friday, and i don't want get up so early tomorrow and go to seminary and i want to do nothing but lie in bed and read and forgett. but i can't, because when i lie down, some bpart of me, one side or another, has to take my weight, and it hurts.

on a happy note, i'll be in my new room on saturday, and the fog is comming in!
once i'm in my room, i'll post pics, promise!
now i must go, to YW's oh joy, oh rapture! be still by beating heart!
I WANNA GO TO BED! and wake up in time for christmas vacation!
anyway, more later.

i pity those who are normal.....

.....because being nuts and sillyand random is so much fun!my book review website,http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi, just got its 14th member. this please me.
and yesterday was the berkely ward mormon church's anual new member dinner and men's cook off!
mr. mike, seminary teacher extrondinar, made home made ice cream in four awsome flavors. he lobbyed hard, getting me and a freind to pass out promo stickers 'a taset we can believe in' and 'desert first'
on the cups he used were cute slogans. my fave?
'Obama promises change.
mcCain promises change.
i promise ICE CREAM'
lol!
no, more than that,
lolshimjsc!
ha! say that five times fast!
bet you only emmza knows what it means!

abnyway, today, i gave a talk during church, about girls camp! agg! i hate giving talks.
not because i'm shy or anything, or that i don't like talking, but because...
i don't like praise.
i mean it!
everyone all'that was great' or 'i loved your talk' and i turn red and want to die!
it drives me nuts.
thats one reason i won't let my dad read my story, sod(dotw has, btw, been indefinetly postponed, due to lack of ideas)
because when he read the first half page, he was 'all this is great', and i hated it!
maybe i'm just afraid that i'll get a big ego. maybe its already too big.
but i hate complements on things i say or write or do!
is this normal? or, should i say, common? or am i alone in this strange dislike of praise.
heh.
on to other stuff: mom and i are done reading 'dragon flight' and are now reading 'the shadow theives' by anne ursu. visit my book review site for a review. heck, visit the site anyway, join, and post something. im bored!
anyway, i finnished my math homework(anyone here know what a spiralateral is? no one?)
and read the first chapter of 'lord of the flies' for english. ick! i hate it already!
ur on an island for less than a day and already youv'e got a leader and are making fun of the fat one! shame on you!
even the kids from 'island' lasted longer than that! course, they already had spent a week on a small ship and already almost died together, but still! maybe it's because it was only six people, and it wasn't all boys. huh/ must think/ponder on this.

that reminds me.
we were discussing, out of a list of made up ppl, who we'd want on a deserted island with us. no one in my group knew what a botanist was! starclan that is sad!
after i had expained to my group who we'd want and why, this one guy looks at the others and is all 'who wants to bet she could survive on a desserted island'?
i don't know if that should make me feel good or bad, but i feel good, so i'll leave it like that.
so anyway, more later!

"Chalk For Peace" and me.

hey all.
first of all, i want people to comment , share thoughts.
the most comments i got was when i said 'no comments' does that mean i should always say, "no comments!"? please post comments. interact with it, explore the ideas i lay before you! it builds brain cells!
thanks.
now, for my real entry.

chalk for peace:

at the BPL, right out in front, someone painted a huge peace sign, with the words 'Chalk  4 Global Peace.'
today, the library had tons of chalk out, in strange colors and stuff.
so, after school, for 30 minutes, i sat and worked.
i drew mini peace signs, the most common drawings.
then i wrote.
slogans were already there, 'Give peace a chance,' and, 'love is better'
someone even put 'love one another' and 'peace is the best gift we can leave to our children' someone added to the last one " so for their sakes, try'
i took a large piece of yellow, set down my pack in a corner, and wrote. moving around, i wrote different things.
" God bless the world- no exceptions"
"if war is the answer, what was the question?"
" you must be the change you wish to see in the world"
and in various places "peace" "love" "hope" and "joy".
the librarians took pictures of some of what i wrote and drew, and i felt glad.
maybe i can't cause world peace, maybe no one can. but we can try. we can try, and try, and try, and even if we fail, time and time again, we can, we will, make a change in the world.
Gandhi knew it,MLK new it, Margret Mead knew it. we can know it.
we can change this world.
we just have to give it our all, and hope we are not alone. we have to stand and try, together.
so do your part.
practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
anyway, more later

what has the world come too, and other random thoughts

the other day, i went to see "yellow Jackets' a play written by a BHS grad, about BHS in the early 90's
 one of the main plot parts, was a boycott of the school paper, the jacket, because a teacher found something that she deemed racist. it turned out that it had been plagiarized from a police report, but the idea is still there.
and i find myself asking 'why?'
why do people hurt others? why do we find it necessary? i know i'm not perfect, but....
it just makes me want to cry. so many lives have been destroyed for stupid reasons.
 a friend of mine in a class i take, is half(or quarter, i don't recall) Arab.  after 9/11, his 'friends' turn on him, calling him things like terrorist. a 9 year old had to suffer through this. it makes me ill, just the thought.
maybe its human nature to divide people into categories, try to make them fit into the little bubbles on standardized tests, black, white, Latino/a, Asian, other.
but it also human stupidity.
a folly, a lie.
no one fits into a bubble.
people see me, and think 'she's white'
but i say, i'm not.
i am American, Italian, Scottish, German, Cherokee, just a little.
white'' is not a race,  it is a bubble.
 a person from Mexico may look like someone from Costa Rica, but they are very much different. they have different customs.
people distinguish between the different African and Asian countries a lot now.. but not so much the European ones.
you are just 'white'
so i say, no, i am not. i have a mix, not of 'black' and 'white', or whatever you think of when someone says 'mix'.
race is not in your genes.
 it is a shared idea, a shared lie, created by society.
i have a color, but that is not who i am. i am who i am, i am a mix of my heritages, a mix of my family history.
i am myself, no matter who tells me anything else.
i urge you to fill in, on that next test or quiz or what have you, the most often overlooked bubble, the one you look at, fill in, erase, and fill in how you look. fill in, other.
for no one fits inside any bubble besides that one.

as for hatred and violence because of 'race', i see it like this. we are all decedent of Noah, of Adam, and ultimately, of God. or, if you don't believe in that, we all came from monkeys, who came from something else. we are one family, brothers and sisters, so many generations back. sibling fights and squabbles are normal, see my below post. but this, all the hate and awful things in the past thousand years and beyond, particularly what has happened and is happening in the past 50, is just ridiculous. just plain stupid and hateful and wrong. let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. love one another as they self. heck, thou shalt not KILL. these are words that most of man kind fails to see, or, fails to listen to.
 i believe that the world could learn so much by going to a library, to the children's section, and picking up a picture book. in those books, the true morals are simple to find.

'Spotty' is one of my favorites.
the story is of a little brown and white spotted bunny, who is left behind when the rest of his family goes to have a birthday part and their grandpa's, because grandpa doesn't think bunnies should be spotty with blue eyes.
so spotty runs away, and it begins to rain, and he is found by mr. brown, a bunny that looks just like him. spotty goes with mr. brown to eat and dry off, and meets mr. browns family. every bunny looks like him, blue eyes and brown spots...but in the corner, spotty sees a small, white bunny with pink eyes. her name is whitie, and the family says that because she looks different, they hide her, because grandma bunny thinks that bunnies should not be white with pink eyes.
spotty tells the browns about why he ran away, and that his family all look like white, and he knows now  that it is all the same, they are all bunnies, and should love each other, and the browns pull white from her little corner and kiss her and are happy, while back at spotty's house, the family feels very bad for not taking him to the party, and look for him.
they return home, and decide to look again in the morning. the next morning, rosie, one of spotty's sisters, sees the browns, who are leading spotty home, and every one rejoices, and everyone kisses everyone, and have a party, with spotty bunnies sitting with white ones, and tall bunnies next to short ones, and they eat carrots, with spotty right in the middle of it all.

anyway, make your own conclusions.
but  i like to think, that back in kindergarden, kids knew the important things in life, friends, family, love, dreams.
thats all that truly matters.
i think one 'dennis the meni\ce' cartoon sums it up nicely.
its dennis, and his friend, jackson, who is 'black'
the caption is dennis sayng, "mom, this is jackson, and we're almost the same, only he's left handed.' or something like that.
so think about what i've said in this post.
God bless the world. No exceptions'
anyway, more later

depressed, in a bad moode and sleepy.

i'm sick.
but not sick enough to stay home, oh, no...
i cough and cough until i feel like i'm going to barf, but i don't, because i'm only coughing...
i'm also teething- that is, my 12 year old molars? well, they may be almost 4 years late, but here they come. joy.
not to mention my bunion's been acting up( just in time for P.E, witch i have first period.) 'nough said
but that isn't all. my legs ache, and above all, i'm just so tiered!
i get up before the flippin crack of dawn for seminary, and its so foggy out, i can hardly see to bike down the hill.
and i'm a deep sleeper, so it takes hours to fall asleep.
the coughing doesn't help.
and we can't fdor get the spawn-of-Satan cats.
its not the cats that wake me, not usually. its tcm.
i have absolutely zero qualm about telling it like it is, even if it puts dearest tcm in a bad light. as i recall, i'm 'the evil clone' according to him, so i have every damn right.

every hour about, he slams open is stupid door, which leads into-you guessed it, my room. even though his new flippin from is ready!
and it crashes with a 'bang' and a creak into my wall, and what ever happens to be there. then he proceeds to yell at the cats, and at me, for not dealing with the cats!
well, pardon me, but i WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND DIDN'T HEAR THE DARN CATS UNTIL YOU SLAMMED YOUR FREAKING DOOR INTO MY WALL!
then it takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep. 30 more minutes later, SLAM< BAM< SCREAM

i'm so sick and tired of it. >:(
but nothing ever gets done!
i'm going to be late to PE, so i'll go now
anyway, more later

since its a new month and i have new readers, i think

i'm gonna post another ad. PLEASE join my Book review forum. we need members. if u are a member, tell ur friends. if ur not, join, and then tell ur friends.
and tell ur friends to tell friends, if you would.
http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi is the link, its also located to your right. :)
:)   now, for some crazyness
(>")><("<) huggling kirbys

(^")><("^) dancing kirbys

<( ")<(" )><( ")><(" )><( ")><(" )>
kirbys will not be moved....

(>``)>    |     <(``<)
peramus and thisby  kirby! separated by a wall. alas! they're from shakespear's midsummer nights dream's play within a play!
so, join my webbi, http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi thanks
anyway, more later

i'm reading a freaking awsome book

it is called 'beastly' by alex flinn.
its a fairy tale.
but not just any fairy tale- a full lengh novle fairy tale.
but not just any full lengh novle fairy tale.- a modernized full lengh novle fairy tale.
but not just any modernized full lengh novle fairy tale- one about beauty and the beast.
but not just any modernized full lengh novle fairy tale about beauty and the beast- one told from the point of view of the beast. yay!
i love it, its amazing. i don't really mind that he was transformed-kyle(that was his name-it means handsome!) was a huge jerk. as in, kingly jerk. rotten guy. but the ending, oh the ending, all i can say is...wow!
go read it! is spactacular.
anyway, more later

the first week, over!

as i ride my bike down grizzly peak, faster than the wind to my house, i keep repeating a single line..two words really, from Shannon Hale's, The Goose Girl." Glory, Glory."
speaking of which, i freaking love that book.

anyway, so today is friday, and as i'm in high school, it was, you guessed it, FRESHMEN FRIDAY!" for those of you that don't know what that is, thats just sad. ask someone who's a freshie or was a freshi in recent times.

so i'm about to be late for a class, and these hulking senior guys are totally blocking the hall. now, i'm not tall. i'm short. and kinda..little, though not as small as some, thank goodness. so...they thought i was a freshi!
so i'm like, 'can u move? i'm gonna b late." because of course, my next class is on the other side of the freaking campus.
and there like " its a freshman! get the eegs' so i'm all, wth?
so i say" for the freaking tenth time today, im a sophmore! do you need to see my freaking id card?"
and there all , "oops" and let me through...so i call over my shoulder, just to perster them " and its not freshmen, its freshperson. be pc dudes!" and run. very fast... and just as i walk in to drama, the bell rings. mission accomplished.

so my first week, all in all, has been ok. i love  English class, as usual, and history has some promise. my mat class is in the morning, so i should be awake, after seminary. oh! soon i'll be a team blogger on the new, Berkeley ward earl;y morning seminary blog! if and when mr. mike sends me the link.

anyhoo.

uh....tonite i'm going to hang with my cousins and have a sleepover, and it is gonna fully rock! i love being with them, it makes me happy and not sad, and despite the happy tone of blog lately, i'm still a slightly depressed person... mostly because i miss summer and because i've grown apart from most of my friends, and i've just been melancholy for no reason. anyway....
thats all i have to say on this topic.

umm..... this is going to be a rather long post, isn't it? so i want more people to join my book review site and be active... and i finished reading miracle girls, and man, it had a great ending! i cried!!!!! i had never read the last part of vol. 9, and..i cried! it was soo beautiful and cheesy, but still i cried! so anyway, i'm also being very active on Y!A, (for those of you that don't know, thats Yahoo! Answers,) and racking up points! jsyk, on y!a, users ask questions, answers Q's and get points. its a help others thing. let me tell you, i've gotten sooo much info from it!
tomorrow is tyhe scotish games! its going to be a gazillion degrees, but should be fun!(if any of you blog readers that i know(no blog stalkers welcome, thank you!) visit the clan Rose tent. mom'll be running it and i'll be in and out. see you at the fair! oh yum, meat pies, fish&chips, nougat, carmel, mars bars,churros, i can smell them already!
fun fack* i got the idea for how Sondra, the faerie prophetess in  SOD, looks from i tee shirt i saw there.
i wish it was foggy...
random thought of the day. sooo
in english, the teacher told us to make a small pioster with a picture of ourselfs and a quote. i used one of pe with Little Bird on my head(i'll blog about him later) from about 2 years ago, or 3. the quote is' in life, don't rush. take a moment to stop and look up. you might be suprized by what's up there." she thought it was very funny.
*bursts into song*
and don't you wish you knew what i was singing.
its called "rain." and i wrote it, its mine, mine, mine!

so anyway, more later

i'm not dead..yet

i survived day one of year two of high school. hallelujah
mostly, it was just going over what this next year will be like.
i was soo tiered by the end, those classrooms are HOT!!!
on the bright side, i like most of my teachers. esp. my english teacher. she's funny.
so i made it, and i'm nort dead, although my back hurts, so i'm going to lie down for a while.
anyway, more later

is it monday already??

is it monday already?
eeep!
school starts soon!
see this?
:|
this is my 'i'm not excited for school' face
on the bright side..
i found my kitteh. he came back, and this makes me so very, very happy.
and my cousins, emmza and lara saharah are here. here as in, in the area. not 'here' as in, at my house. don't i wish!

k.
last night i had a seminary meeting, we met our new teacher,mr. mason, who will be working with mr. mike.
mr. mike is making a seminary blog' where we can all post our crazy stories. from seminary.
today i had a denits appointment. ugg.
at least this time i didn't puke!

so the scotish game4s are comming up this weekend, and this makes me pleased. i like the scotish games. i love the scotish games. they sell lots of yummy food!

thats all i can think of to post, so i'll be back!
anyway, more later!

DOTW, SOD

as requested, here are some excerpts from Sod and DOTW.
first, a mini synopsis/teaser thingy for DOTW. i posted one for SOD a few months ago.

Nerida, aka Nida, a 12 year old loner/misfit with a passion for the sea, learns that she is a 'daughter of the waves', the sole child of the sea spirit, with the powers of the ocean within her. The spirit had been destroyed only days after Nida's birth, and Nida was given a human form with the last of her mother's  magic, and sent to a small, landlocked city.  but now, a strange force wants her powers, and will stop at nothing to get them. With a single friend by her side, Nida must learn to control her powers in order to save her self, and prehaps all of humanity, from the Shadows.

and now, and excerpt.

I got off the bus  at my stop, but rather than head home, I picked my way to this little park, not very big, with a sand box, and other stuff for little kids. I plopped down on a swing and just hung there, staring out at the little clump of trees that blocked the view of the street. Without really caring, I started to swing. Aside from being in the water, or drawing, swinging was the one time I felt free, a time I felt like I could fly. My worries just vanished, left behind on the ground while I soared. The wind was picking up, swirling my dark hair around. The wind brushed past my face, like a breath of freedom. Wind was, in essence, the freest thing. The water was trapped by the tides, by the shores. But not the wind. The wind was something very different. Nothing could truly trap the wind, not forever. As I swung, lost in my thoughts, the sun sank lower. I glanced up, and realized I’d better get home. My mom would be back from work by now. With a final glance at the wild blue sky, I headed for home.

and now for a bit of SOD.

That night, Nadia slept fitfully, her dreams twisting, frightening. Then they changed altogether. She saw Sondra, faint and shimmering, heard Sondra’s voice, soothing at first. “Stones,” she began. “Stones, Ekasaf has found your town. He and his minions will be coming. I cannot meet you again, for though Ekasaf is in your world, my Isle is under siege. I will send help, if I can. Beware the Song. I tried, I tried, please, beware.” Nadia’s dream-self reached a hand out to the faerie. “What song? What do you mean? What’s going on?” she became frantic as the image of the faerie prophetess began to fade. “WAIT!”
“Forgive me. Please, forgive me. I am so sorry. Idid not mean to...forgive me.” The image of Sondra’s sorrowful face, eyes brimming with tears as she spoke, faded to nothingness.


and thats all for now!

on a sad note, my cat, walker, is missing, for over 24 hours now. most people think, thats not that long, for an outdoor cat. but walker's NEVER goone all night, and if he ever is, he's waiting to come in at dawn. he's lazy, he sits in the sun on the patio. but no one saw him yesterday. and he didn't come in all last night.
my neighbor said he heard a loud cat fight in the lot close by... i'm worried about my kitty! tcm doesn't think anythings wrong, but i'm not so sure. he didn't come when i called, wistled, or shook the cat treat box!
anyway, more later
anyway, more later

oh, so happy!

hi!
so yesterday was bhs registration for 10th,11th, and 12th graders. my dad's reaction 'when i was that age, all you did was show up on the first day!'
I'm pleased w/ my classes, i got team sports, which is good, considering i had put 'soccer' as a second choice for PE. that's not so good. for my feet, i mean.
and i got dramatic arts. yay! last year i got put in a special drama class, and, since it was only for 10,11,12 graders, i had to drop it. (don't the admin people ever think?! goodness!)

back to why i am so very happy.
i spent 3 hours on the comp. typing. typing SOD. i went through my youtube playlist twice!
i listen to the songs while i type, you see, it helps me concentrate.
i said before i was at page 50. but...that was when , at the end of a chapter(I'm going to start chapter 10 today) i left the rest of the page blank. to conserve paper, and space and junk, i got rid of the spaces. and was at page 41....
so yesterday, i reached page 50. finally! it has been almost 1 year since i began. my characters have become more real,  and other things. I'm so very proud. sadly, i typed up all the untyped stuff i had(excluding, of course, my ending and epilouge possibilities)

as for DOTW, i am on page 12.  i have not divided it into chapters at all, and have about 5 pages in a notebook, waiting to be typed.  which i shall do today. or tomorrow.

umm...huh. i thought i had more to say... guess not.
next post i'll be posting a segment, just a tiny one, of DOTW or SOD. cast your vote in comments!
thanks!
anyway, more later

Oh! hi! um...i'm lazy..heh

so..i'm back from girls camp.
starclan it was fun!
i:
survived the 15(16 maybe..or 17, i don't know) mile hike, that included a 3/4 mile strech in which we rose 800 ft.  not to mention the 'dirt' was so dusty, it was
a) impossible to breath
b) so slippery ish that for ever 3 steps forward you fwell one back!

saw part of a meteor shower.

wrote 4 or so poems

hung out with sari and candi and ginny and all my ofther friends

read 15 childrens books on tape to send to dana(camp leader)'s sister who works at cihnacare, an orphanage in china, so the kids couldlisten to them and read along.(that was fun!)

played 'unexploded cow' with sari and candi and lost utterly.

almost pranked the third years by pretending to be a bear, but didn't.

taught the other 4th years what to do in an avalanche

read the final book in the 'book of mormon sleuth' saga

identified 90% of the birds i saw

killed my feet(ow! they still hurt!)

had fun!

on to other stuff!
tomorrow is BHS orientation. lovely. i don't wanna go to school!

i also discovered something that made me sad: i havent WRITTEN anything new in TSOD(hereby known as 'SOD')
i typed some new stuff, and edited, but other than that...nada.
sob.

on a happy note, i got lots of 'DOTW' so thats good.
time for a a bit of one of my stories...next post. comment and tell me which you'd prefer!

last but not least: i got a new cellphone. most of you know that i lost my cellphone while in utah/arizona....i got a new one. it has a camera! i love it!
anyway, more later!

oh gosh

how many of you do something when you're excited? for example, chew your nails, or hop up and down?
i sure do. so i'm reading one of my fave mangas, miracle girls,  when i notice. i'm biting my thumbs!! i know that daphne grimm, from the sisters grimm, bites her palm, but i nip my thumbs! strange.
well, for the first time, i'm reading book two of miracle girls. the library, curses, doesn't have it. nor does it have the final volume. when i read the seirs almost a year ago, i just passed over two, but i didn't understand some parts of volume three. that was it though, no all important clues. just a few 'huh? when did that...oh! musta been book two' moments. but today, i thought. i want to read miracle girls. mostly, my book cravings say 'i want happy, i want sad, i want battles, i want a mystery( only, i have no new mysteries, so they aren't as fun to re-read) but today it was particular, so i thought i outh to listen. come to find out, all the books that the library does have are checked out. so i remember what Holly A, from photo, said, about reading manga online. and after going through about 20 sites, i find one that has what i'm looking for, and i read, and i read, and before long, i'm biting my thumbs.
anyway, more later!

Starclan, i can haz Lolcats!

this site cracks me up! thanks to zary and genun for the link!
link:http://icanhascheezburger.com/
(some are a bit confusing. sound out the 'words' if you get stuck!)
anyway, more later!

quick explanation, and random stuff.

first of all, relating to the last post: the reason i wanted no comments was because when ppl disagree with me or get mad at something i say, i go nuts, and feel terrible. as in, tummy aches, can;t sleep, ripping my hair out terrible. sometimes i should, i can have a big mouth, but  i'mso  afraid i'll offend people, that i start saying i'm sorry when all i did was express my opinon, and end up really depressed because i keep my true feelings bottled up.

moving on!

i finnished listening to Obert Skye's(leven thumps) latest book, pillage.
truly amazing. best audio book i've listend to in a while. and the story was gripping and fast paced, the charaters soo...real. i felt as though i knew them, at around the 3 disk. it had a great villian, though it(i shall not say if the villian is a girl or boy, or other creatur.) one of the best i'dcome across in a while.  the only thing i didn't like was..the dragons. they were..like a cat. worse, like a...snake. no thoughts, no feelings, nothing. might as well have been robots. but the descriptions were great.
i can't wait for Girls camp, i'll finaly see candi again!

tcm finnished the sisters grimm, and mom is now done with Fablehaven (thanks for lending us the book emmza! sahara, have you started it yet?)

tonight we begin 'dragon flight' i guess i need to get tcm into a new book.

what eles? lucy has been so cuddly since we got back, so has walker. he won'y leave us alone, particularly at night! oh, right, i forgot. it is my goal to learn how do make AMVs, before i'm 18. anyone know how? if not, i'll email some of my you tube friends.... it feels great to have acsess to you tube again, after so long without being near a comp!
i STILL need to finish Avatar! i forgot!
anyway, more later!

The twilight tragedy. NO COMMENTS.

forget everything i said about twilight in the past.. i hate it now. nothing anyone says will change my mind. i was thinking about it, i found out how bk 3 ended. i started to think, how could i ever have liked it? its totally plot driven, which in and of itself is not bad, but I'd be nice to feel some attachment to the characters. and by that,I DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT mean fall in love and be obsessed with Mr. ed, Jake, whoever the heck it is.

today, i went online to Y!A, as i was very bored. i saw a question that utterly shocked me. i will not say what it was, for fear of spoiling what little plot there is for the rest of you. i will only state that i was completely shocked when i read the 14 answers, all the same. a single word.
it breaks my heart, to think that there are 12-year-olds and younger reading these books, rather than something wholesome, SM has created a problem. i fear i can no longer trust new and coming LDS authors, unless their books feature the church. i know I'm being ridiculous in that, fablehaven is fine, the 13th reality is fine, goose girl is fine.
but i can still no longer trust that even though a book is written by an LDS, who must be aware of the age of her readers, it will be good, clean. or will abide by the standards in my 'for the strength of youth '. this infuriates me to no end. what was she thinking? how could she!
sometimes my mother will be reading a book, and with out warning, throw it in the trash. she does this not because the plot is dumb, or the story not interesting, but because it does not fit her standards. if only every reader could have the courage to do that.
but my words are pointless, for who will listen? perhaps they are more for myself, to send my feelings out into the world, to free myself of the relentless voice that wails in my mind, why?, why?, why?
i no longer what to be 'the next SM'
i care about my readers, by younger friends, and  my characters. to me they are real. if i betrayed them, it would be as if i betrayed myself.
******I DO NOT WANT COMMENTS! DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS! I MEAN IT! THIS IS A POST I SIMPLY WANT TO SHOW MY ANGER AND FEELINGS OF BETRAYAL! NO COMMENTS!*****
anyway, more later.

yes, i'm back!

things of intrest to me.
1. i now love the tv show 'psych'
2. i went to four corners
3. i have now been to the land of the freaking mormons.
4. i made about 6 vidoes with my cousins that will be posted on youtube within the month
5. i slept for 14 hours last night.
6. i spent over $104 on books in the past week.
7. i hiked up to delicate arch with lara and her brother. boy, that was tireing. ya see, a certain someone, who shall remain unnamed, got tired often....i gave him piggy back rides for most of the way back, and some of the way there. and we forgot to bring water bottles.
8. after 3 years, i finaly beat my chronicles of narina, lion, the witch and the wardrobe ds game. i feel so...depressed.it was to short!. ok, ao i cheated and used the computer. i still beat it in less than a week! anyway....
9. i read the 3 unicorn chroicles book. mr. coville, hurry up with book four! i am not waiting another 9 years!(ok, so i only waited 3 years. most people waited ten!(thats how long it was between bk 2 and bk 3))
10. i wrote three pages of DOTW on the plane yesterday. and started working on as very stupid, bad map that even Vicky(erin hunter number 3, hates drawing maps) could do better than me on, for TSOD.
11. bought birthday gifts for Zary and Genun.
12. got the link to emma's blog
13. FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER BOOK IN THE DRAGON BOOKS BY JESSICA DAY GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so very, very happy.
14. Sarah Beth Durst's poster 'NO, i'm not Stephenie Meyer, but did she shlep herself to the mall to sign your books???'  is extreamly amusing. i'd rather have an autographed commy of 'into the wild' or 'out of the wild' than anything by SM
must go shopping  now, there is food to put on food(like creamcheese) but no food to put it on!
anyway, more later

give me one good reason to title this, just one. make that 2.

so.
in a few minutes/hours, i will be going to g'ma's. then, before dawn tomorrow, i will be on my way to the airport, to arizona. where i will proceed to die of bordom, untill the very moment i spot my cousins. you know who you are. unles...cousins, you don't have amnsia, right? ok, great, we got that cleared up!
in tamora perices circle of maic: sandry's book, daja mentions a sorakku, a box kept on ships (in the book) full of food and water. i have a bordoem sorakku, aka a royal purple back pack that has seen better days. it contains
several never before read by me books, three mini notebooks, my TSOD binder-notebook, pens, ds, ds games, walkman, two audio books, and a teddy.
i think we are going now!
so before i go, i urge you to go to the 'autho'r section, click on 'sarah beth durst' and from there go to 'obscure fairy tale posts' they are soooo funny. i mean it.
random shirt i saw, #1: i can't....i'm mormon.(that was at youth con. i need one of those!)
#2: hiku's are pretty
but they sometimes don't make sense
refrigerator.
random thought: t'zikin(ZI-KEEN) is a pretty name.
anyway, more later.

bookworms welcome!

please join my rather lame-ish, small, and strange book devoted webbsite. it is a conforum for people to talk about are review books. the link is located at the bottom of my blog(just scroll down..a bit more..you can't miss it, it's under the bold purple lettering!)
i am bookbat, and it is my little world. we only have, like,  9 members. join us!!!!!!!!!
anyway, more later

i want chocolate

so i survived cub scout camp, just barely.
today, i walked up the hill, and i got a haircut. yes! i got a hair cut! i decided i didn't really want to get my hair done at camp, and besides, i won't have much time at camp, as i'll be on a 20 mile hike for most of the time. i know, 20 miles isn't much. you try doing that with
* weak ankles that get  hurt with the slightest stumble
* bunions
*heavy pack
* a dozen or so other girls that aren't big on waiting up. or talking about books.

so yeah.

today i'm going to be helping genun with his eagle scout project, and then i'm going to a pioneer day bbq. i'm gonna have fun with that.
i haven't been writing as much as i should be, on either of my little fantasy stories, but i have gotten a bit more. here is an excert from  The Stones of Destiny.


A tall, willowy woman stared out across the waters, gazing at the reflections of the stars. Her long blue hair was the color of the sea at night, nearly black, and smooth as silk. Another woman, this one shorter, with hair the color of a cherry tree's new blossoms, went to her.
"Sondra," The second woman called softly into the mist. "Sondra, is it time?"

"No, Bethaniee, the time is soon, but for now, Faerie is safe."
The woman stood, and stretched her wings, for she was not mortal, but a faerie, a member of the race mortals seemed to classify as nothing more than stories for children as they went to bed, heads filled with dreams of tomorrow. Her brow creased as she wondered how long her people had before the growing evil destroyed the peacefulness of her world. As if in answer to her question, a low boom echoed across the sea. It was over, after four long years, it was finally over. But the woman did not rejoice. This time, Good had not won; as she knew it would not.

"Bethaniee, Grace," Sondra whispered. "Gather the Guardians, and the Stones! The time is now!"
Grace, the third of the four faeries on The Island began to weep, softly, wind causing her light green tunic to billow. Everything else was still, as if in mourning, the stars dimmed, "Is- is the King…"

"Yes. The King has fallen. Faerie is all but destroyed," Sondra said sorrowfully. "There is little time left for us to work. To save Faerie, we must act now, and send the Guardians to Earth. This is the only way."

"Yes, I know," Grace whispered softly, wiping tears from her eyes.
Henna, a fourth faerie, the youngest of them, her long golden hair shining in the light of the moon, spoke up. "The Prophecy! Will it truly come to pass?" her amber eyes glowed with a combination of fear and hope.
“Yes,” Sondra told her, with grief in her voice. “All of it.”

"Has the time come at last?" Two voices from the shadows spoke at once as two golden shapes emerged to join the faerie.

"Oricy, Quinlan, yes, it is time," Bethaniee said, her voice a whisper.
Two more shapes, these a pale silver in color, coalesced from the darkness. "We are here," a soft, birdlike voice called out.
"Aruta, Karanna, come here, to the circle." Sondra instructed. She gestured to a carved circle, set in to the stone. Aruta, Oricy, Karanna, and Quinlan, the Guardians, gathered in the center of a stone sun, and the faeries began to chant:




"Moon of two worlds
Stars of four
Back to earth
Open your door
That those before you
May safely pass
This we ask, of you
Let it be so!”

After three times, the sun began to glow with a pale light, not quiet silver, not quite gold and the four Guardians vanished, each with a small, white box, each with a name set in gold.

 this is only a rough draft, keep in mind
anyway, more later!