list of things to ponder...

(this is a joke list. do not answer any of the questions! ok? thank you!)

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?  
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?  
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
 Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose? 
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
WalMart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
If it is illegal to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?   
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
When someone says "You know what they say"... Who are they?
before the inventated drawing boards, what did they go back to?
how is it posible to have a civil war?
if all the world's a stage, where is the audience sitting?
if airline seat cusions make such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see them at the beach?
whose idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
why do they see hot dogs in pacages of 8 and buns in pacages of 10?
why do we wash bath towles, arn't we clean when we use them?
well, thats my list.
remember, it's a joke...