Sunday, June 22, 2008

i can't think of a title.

Mon and TCM are still across the pond, in London now.
The bump on my head from yesterday's sailing trip is practically gone, and doesn't even hurt now.
My crazy cats, who i promise I'll post pics of later, are calmer. must be the weather, they haven't tried to kill each other all summer.
Tasha is off to a sleep away camp....
So what have I been up to? updating my blog (as you know see, i have links to the webbies /blogs of some of my fave authors, and my Friends. more to come!)
And just hanging out, on other people's blogs.
One of my fave authors, Sarah Beth Durst, has a section of her blog where she posts obscure or not-so-obscure fairy tales, with commentary. Check them out, they are very much worth it! I read one of them, "Jack my Hedgehog'' (Anyone heard of it? besides Q, who I know has?) out loud to me dad, who thought it was very funny. I thought it was very funny too, and I swear I heard my kitty purring, but that might have been the bottle of kitty treats i was holding, so......
hmm, here is.. whats that word? oh forget it! here is a tiny bit of Daughter of the Waves. enjoy

"I was running, running, my heart pounding in my ears, in the soles of my bare feet. ‘Get away, get away!’ my only thought, reverberating. Who was I running from? Shapeless forms, nameless phantoms, nightmares. They were chasing me. I was inside, a dark, old house. I ran, and ran. i heard waves on the side of the house, lapping gently.  My feet burned, my lungs were on fire, but still I ran, down the hall, up the creaky wooden stairs. A door blocked me, it was locked! i kicked it in, or tried to. Not even a dent!  I turned and saw my attacker, and I screamed.

I woke with a jolt. The dream had been so real, my heart was still beating fast. as i headed down stairs, i saw something out of the corner of my eye. A shadow...."

just a rough draft. whaddya think?
anyway, more later

6 comments:

Q said...

It has good rhythm, but be sure to check conventions on your next draft. Questions in formal writing are usually considered bad form, or at least unnecessary, so I would suggest changing that. I could be wrong, of course; if your story is chattily written questions are just part of the flow. However, judging by the style I think you are trying to convey, I would avoid them in narration.

Q said...

Oh, and my name needs no period. I am Q and just that.

AnnaDee said...

Q: i got rid of that period...
jsyk, the question isn't directed at the audience, its more of a....idk dream..agg, im not explaining this well. 'im' asking 'myself' who is chasing me, like 'i' don't quite know, and yeah....

~Lara from the Sahara said...

Whoa ok whoever "q" is ur a very smart person who knows a lot about writing! anyway i guess im not as smart as q (whoever u are) but i personally really liked that anna. o well matter of opinion i guess. hey i hav a question how can u make that list of friends on the sidebar of ur blog? ive been trying to do that but havent been able to figure it out yet. ok well i luv u anna! c ya!!

Q said...

Hey, I liked it, I just thought it could use improvement, as all first drafts can.

AnnaDee said...

lara, i'll send u a pm on the bookbat site, k? a walk through. b ready!