big bear

big bear.
brown, three feet tall. no longer whiskers on his black plasic nose.
my protector.
my teddy.


going through the basement, i found it. my childhood toy, once owned by cousins before me, now mine. then mine.

every frightening movie ever watched in my house, i watched with him. every tv show where it wasn't always happy, i watched with him. every lonly night, i slept with him.
last year, during that huge, 4 :30 am quake? the one that was real close to where i live, when i was home alone? big bear was there.

i'm in a reminsing moode today, remembering childhood. it wasn't that long ago, i suppose, but it feels like ages.
i remember furby
and one saturday morning cartoons
i remember  digimon
and pokemon, when they were 'in'
i remember before the world became obsessed with HSM, twillight, and gossip girl.
if only life was that simple now. i wish.

if only all the things i fear, then monsters and bumbs in the night, now bigger things, like natural disasters, the war, global warming, could be ended by hugging big bear close, breathing in the sent of memories, days long ago.

msn, this started so happy!
why must everything make me so depressled! even digimon does it now!. i need some chocolate. wanna come with?
anyway, more later