sad, sad, sad.

all i want to do is cry.
everyone here knows about how i was going to be in the school talent show, right? how hard i worked, what i missed to go to meetings.
all for nothing.
last night, as i was doing math, i got a call.
'is this Anna Sophia?'
"yes"
"I'm from the talent show.'
"yeah?"
"we had to cut you."
(in a soft voice. )"OK..."
click.
i started to cry. was it true? i had worked so hard for this, written a verse to the song i was singing to make it better, practiced for hours, giving up time. to be told the day before that i wasn't in it.
now i wish i had said something like this. " no. put me back in. i have worked to damn hard for this, spent to much energy. you cannot call the night before, less than 24 hours before and just say 'sorry, we cut you' no. you should have called me before i canceled other plans, before i spent hours learning and perfecting my song. before i missed dinner Wednesday to go to the last rehearsal. before i was up for 19 hours strait, because i had to go to a talent show meeting instead of napping before a baby sitting job.
before i spent hours deciding what to wear, how to do my hair, how to move as i sang. before i borrowed money from my brothers friend, who won't let me forget it, to pay for the bus ride home after one of the meetings. before i put my heart into this. before i spent those hours dreaming about being onstage, singing with all my soul, alone for the first time, with nothing of overshadow me. before the night before. so put me back.
i was at the rehearsals, we fit almost perfectly.
kick out the ones that missed all the meetings, the 'mandatory' meetings. cut the acts of those with 4 or 5 or 7 minutes, not people like me, with two. kick out those that were late to the practice, who didn't pay attention to the director. but put me back in. it is rude and cruel to call now, after all I've done. after all I've dreamed. and if you don't, I'm gonna sing anyway. you can't do this to me. not now."

these are the thoughts rushing through me now, pushing to me heard, shouting in my mind.
i cried for a long time last night.
it was all i could do to keep my self from ripping down the posters that i had so diligently posted, from the walls and bulletin boards of the school.
today, i told my friend, Tati, about it. one of the kids in my class, one of the rude, cruel kids in my Spanish class, over heard. within minutes, half the class was saying stuff like 'they kicked u out cause you ain't got no talent'. 'no talent.' 'no talent'. we had a sub that day. it got louder, the sub did nothing. they started to say the things with other insults, calling me bad names and words i won't repeat. it was to much. i got up and told the teacher. write me a pass to the library. i will not stay here. i am leaving, with or without that pass.
a minute later, Tati and i, passes in hand, were reading manga and Robin McKinley in the school library.
but i can't get the voices of them, of Gibreal and Rashad, or Greg (aka, G) and of Alonzo and James and the others, out of my head. they echo, 'no talent. no talent, B****, you have no talent, no talent'
i hate high school.
anyway, more later

sleep sounds very nice right now

all i want to do is sleeep....
but im posting this while i wait for my essy on the medea to print..
and its done, off i go to dream land!

friday night....

oh man am i sleepy!
i was up for 19 hours strait!
this was my day
5:00 get up
6:15-7:15 seminary
7:15-3:15 school
3:30-4:00 talent show meeting
4:15-4:35- wait for bus
4:36- 5:00 bus ride
5:00-5:17 walk home from bus stop
5:30-12:05 baby sit for my buddy, sean
12:09 bed!!!!

sean and i had plent of fun though
we made movies on youube,
about an index card house.
in the first movie it is desroyed by a lego gun
in the next, by an eivl robot mouse.
we plan to make more evil robot muse movies!
anyway, more later.

uh....hello everyone.

hi.
mm...i'm racking my brain for news to tell you, and i'm drawing a blank. but then, you guys know how bad i am at drawing! well, today i re-organized my bookshelves, so now i have room to spare, somthing i haven't had in months. also i think that the two jerks that flash laser pointers at me and the magic card gang turning 0 period won't be bothing us anymore...hee hee hee......
i worked on alternet endings for my novle, 'the stones of destiny' durning english class, and continued typing my other, which still has no name, after i walked up from the bus.
i re-read 'widow's revenge' the sequel to the lds-written 'serpent tide' by k. l. fogg, in preperation for the third, possibly final instalment, 'dimondback cave'

for my latest photo project i took picturs of my cats, one of which is asleep on my dad's desk-she thinks she's a paper wieght! the cats are black and white, and so is my film (ok, so the cats are white and black and brown) so it should look cool enough.

oh!
the library insisted that most of the books on my list of requests (i followed your advise)
were
a) to new to get ( the newest was about 9 months old, most were closer to 4 years, 3 were even closer to 10 or 11 years, can you say ' yeah right'?)
or

b) in their possision, i just need to look harder, or they were checked out. ( i looked in all four places, doble looked, then checked the catolog. none of the suronding librarys has ANY of them, and still the lady points to my list, compleat with title, author, publishing company and year. and says 'we have these. what makes you think we don't?" grr!)


i was trying to see about one of the books they 'had', 'aliens stole my body' (book four in a set ( strangly, book 3 was too 'new' for them to get) and found that
a) no, they did not have it
b) no nearby librarys had it
c) the author was not in the catolog, meaning that they had none of his books.( and i quote 'no matchs found for AUTHOR: Coville, Bruce. i also tried ' Bruce Coville' and a number f misspelling')

now, i had had a very rough day (spanish teacher from hell) so feeling rather pretrubed, i went to the shelf, plucked a book by that author, put the mouse behing the screen, stuckthe book onthe key bord and placed this note: 'no bruce coville? yeah right.'

now, this note thing happend seveal days ago, as did the list.
as of today, none of the books 'i(i expected that) and the computer still insistes that many authors do not have books in the near by libraries.
im confused. i thought that the purpose of those comps was to help us find what we were looking for. i can't even use it to find a book i know they have, unless it's harry potter or warriors.

oh yeah. there are some pretty darn cool warrior's vids. online. check out the official one at http://www.warriorcats.com/. it rocks....

and i thought i didn't have much to say!
wish me luck at tomorrow's spanish class....ugg....


anyway, more later

greetings from the planet mormulack

well, ok, so i lied. this has nothing to do with mormulack. deal with it. it sounds cool.
henceforth, tonydee will be called antonio. i have spoken.


i like sugar.

i love my kitty.

last night my kitty ate my blanket.

or tried to.


goobye

anyway,more later

ok, its later

today is monday. and yet i have no school. ...
YAYAYAYAY!!!
some how, my parents chose today for me to go to the dentist's.
UUUUUGGGG!!!
but mom promised to take me to get a book.
YAYAYAYAYAY!!!
and ok this is getting stupid now.
i'll stop.
i promise.


moving on:
uh..lets see...
last night i had a very odd dream that i was in the book series :on the run.
or at least, i was a part of it.
it was fun, and a bit scary. i saw the books from a whole new prespective.
try em, they rock!

again, with books:
i starded this really cool series called 'maximum ride'
i won't spoil anything, but it's about a group of kids/teens(ages 6 to 14)
that
have
wings!
and they kinda hafta save the world.
its awsome, and laugh out loud at points...


moving on again:
i have started wacting digimon again.
those of you that i'll see at seminary 2morrow, you have been warned!
anyway, more later

the book i'd dreamed of reading...literaly

so about 2 months ago, before christmas i went to barns and noble with my mom to get books.
i saw one that looked really good, i as of now cannot remember the name or author.
it was about three pre-destind heros that were suposed to save the world. only somthing happend, and they were needed 10 years too soon, so kids had to save the world. i was thrilled, it was just my kind of story, the kind i love. but mom was already getting 3 books for me, so we did not get it.
for the past weeks i have wondered about it.
today, i went to barns and noble. i did not see it. i looked every where. i asked the books-person that deals with kids books (it was for 12 year olds, at least, it was in the 12 year old section.)
but they had never heard of it.
i described the cover.
no luck.
i went on B&N dot com and looked at all the 'new releases' (it was in hard back that december day) from december to last october. nothing.
i have come to the sad conclusion that the book was a figment of my imagination.
oh well.
oh, and on wendsday, jeni taught the mia maids the art of the chinese firedrill. that was fun.
well, anyway, more later

Happy V-Day

i have nothing to say.
so i'll say this instead:
pikachu is really cute.
there. i said it!

moving on: in seminary class, Mr. Mike and I tormented poor Lanya with tales of the ROUS (the princess bride) that lived in the church....
but enough of that!
uhh..lets see...
4 day weekend coming up!
and tomorrow i'm going to the bookstore!
and i have some new shoes with platform-like soles, so i feel taller.....
thats about it...
anyway, more later

yeah, whatever...

so sue me, i don't have a cool title.
uggg.
tcm wants the comp in a few min, so i'll be brief.
i was in THE EVIL SPANISH CLASS FROM HELL. theres a new kid, i'll call him...G.
G is in 2 of my other classes.
i hate G.
to date he has:
stolen two of my pens
attempetd to hold my neclace cham for ransom
stolen tcm spanish book.
and today he threw a paper spikything at my face. i poceted it, he threatend me in the halls.
i tod him if he didn't let go of my bag and get the hell a way from me, i'd have him kicked out. (it is in the hand book: no stealing, no extortion, no threatening. )
he left me alone after that. i wonder why?
anyway, more later

the weekend: what happend.

ugg.
Friday: evil Spanish teacher, you know the drill.
Saturday: 6:00 am: get up to go up to the mountains on a church youth sledding trip.
11: 00 had fun. nicole video taped me coming down the hill, catching air, and then a face full of snow.
3:00. we get in the car to go home.
4:00 we stop, traffic.
4:30 we find out that we are stuck behind an accident, complete with two overturned cars, two helicopters, 4 ambulances and at least 3 police cars.
7:00 we continue on our way.
7:15 i begin to feel pain in my shoulders
7:30 we eat dinner at a kfc
8:00 i begin to feel severe pain in my way upper chest, wrists, shoulders and elbows.
10:00 i get home, the pain so bad, i'm crying.
10:30 i take a hot shower, the pain feels a bit better.
11:00 the pain returns, i try to sleep
12:00 my screaming (of pain) wakes up mom, i take a bath, the pain stays gone.
Sunday:
mom lets me and tcm stay home from church, pain reduced to stiffness in arms.
dad said it was a reaction from all the sun....

monday:
i begin redcording exactly what i hate about THE EVIL SPANISH TEACHER FROM HELL.
i also half-faint in math. one day im going to have a mental breakdown, i know it. i'm going to fail Spanish class, and if i fail...ugg.
shayla told me that even if i fail i'll still get into collage, i'll just have to pay for the whole thing. i'm not speaking to her. she doesn't get that maybe my family doesn't have $4000 a week saleries. (yes, spell check STILL won't work)


that was my weekend, and monday.

nothing new today....
anyway, more later

What a day..and its only 8 am!!!

oh my starclan, this was the most exiting seminary lesson thus far. not because of what we studied, but beacuse of what HAPPENED!!!

i coughed, and layna fell to the ground with a shriek of 'nooo! i don't wanna get sick!'
zary imediatly (yes, i know i can't spell...the spellcheck thing is STILL not working...) Stated 'now, that can't be MY fault.
causing laughter.....
later, TCM through a shoe, and i sat on it.
layna started screaming again...
five minutes later, a police car showed up in the parking lot.....oops!!!
later, we all went to school.
genun, zary, tony, tcm, my dad and i all had to fit in the 5 seater car....dad and tcm up front, the rest of us squezed into the back. the order went like this: tony, me, genun, zary.
zary pretened to die multiple times. by the time we got to school, tony's latest comment had us all laughing.
'the police man came because he wanted our cheerios!'
even now, i'm still laughing......

in other news: tomorrow i am going sledding.
today my BI-POLAR EVIL SPANISH TEACHER FROM HELL is making us chocolates......i think its poisend. if i die, Emmza, you and laralu can have my stuff....use my notes and finish my novel!

speaking of my novel, i am still almost done with page 50...like i have been for a month or more.....stupid writers block!
a big 'i'm sorry' to Mr. Mike...i was not myself today....

anyway, more later

is it ONLY thursday?

sigh...why can't it be saturday?
the EVIL SPANISH TEACHER FROM HELL was back....
and i cheated on my thing on spanish istory in spanish.
i used babel -fish translation. SHE HAS NOT TAUGHT US THE WORD "WAS" so how can i do a report on spain's history? my very crappy spanish dictionary was no help. but you know something? I DON"T CARE IF I GET 100 F's. SHE STINKS!!!!
ok, ranting done.

uh, lets see...genun and zary were back at class....today we learnd about king Saul trying to kill soon to be King David.
it was fun. the lesson is this :
DONT HANG OUT WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU. i guess david was paying attention to what happend to samson....hee hee.

layna found out that genun was a little ill . she went a wee bit nuts 'don't breath on me!!!' to which zary resonded 'Genun, stop breathing'
layna lay down on the floor after that, and i told everyone :' i'm so blogging this.'

i am no longer doing ZARY"S OR GENUN"S FUNNY SHIRT.
some times they don't wear funny shirts. now im just doing
FUNNY SHIRT TIME!

today's funny shirt was ZARY'S
it said, DO OR NOT DO ,THERE IS NO TRY. in computer code.
thats what made it funny
anyway, more later.

death by marshmellows!!

this was maybe the bet seminary lesson EVER!
we had a hards-on lesson about david and goliath.
Mr. Mike put up a target and we sling-shot marshmellows at it! most of them missed, but it sure was fun.
if i can find out how, i'll post some pics of us 'doing battle' as Mr. mike's daughter would say.
Zary and Genun missed the fun, so i can't yet post the funny shirt of the day quote.

let's see...what else is new? super tuseday is over. i have to say im glad. i don't care much for politics....
oh! the spell check on this silly thing still won't work....
ugg...
oh yeah!
yesterday the EVIL SPANISH TEACHER FROM OUTERSPACE WAS NOT HERE!!!!
i hope she's sick. call me mean, but i won't lie. i really do hope she's sick.
anway, more later.

uh..is today tuesday?

today layna informed the rest of seminary that she no longer liked the vampire books. go figure. (EDIT!! i misunderstood. she likes the books, but is mad at somthing that happened....sorry layna!)
even i lasted more than 24 hours with my toyko-mew-mew obbsesion, my shortest lived obbsession thus far. ( note: for some reason, the spell check is not working. please excuse my miss-spellings. thank you)
in other news: today is SUPER TUESDAY!!!!
in uhm. celebration, mr. mike wore a tie with the words of the presidental oath of office on it
uh..let me see.
unless i get a spanish-english dictionary at lunch,guess who gets another F?
not to mention that i forgot my film for my photo class at home. at least i took the pics!

ZARY'S OR GENUN'S FUNNY SHIRT TIME:
today zary's shirt read :
jonny was a chemists' son, but jonny is no more
what he though was H2O was H2SO4
this brought on a discusion about dyhydrogen monoxide...and the army base that banned it....
once again, sorry about my spelling...
anyway, more later.

vent time

me again. in a bad mood again
sorry, but i really need to vent, so you can just skip his post.
i dislike one of my teachers very intensly. she gave me, oh, only $ F"S today. wanna know the reasons? (heaven forbid if i don't have them.)
f # 1: i did not have a spanish dictionary. like we used it at all... my brother had it. but that wasn't good enough.
#2: i forgot to bring my work book , not that i agree that i desrved it.
#3: i did not have my devides correctly lapled.
lastly: i did not have two worksheets. she however, faild to listen to me when i informed her polietly that i had never gotten and worksheets and that she had not ever given them/ mentiond them to the class.
then she yelled at my friend and gave her F's because she didn't have the stuff either, apparently forgetting that my friend had the flue all last week...
now i have an oral report on spain's histoy due on friday, in spanish. did i mention im only in spanish 1? i don't know enough spanish to give a report in spanish!!!!!and if anyone in my 'group' makes a single mistake, the whole group gets -you guessed it- an F.
gee, i wonder if i'll get to sit next to my friend when the whole class is in summer school?
one more thing : does she think that none of our OTHER teachers gave us homework? i have a big essay due thursday, and a quiz on wednsday, as well as a huge photo thing this week. speaking of which, i better go take those pics!
ok, i'm done ranting. i promise.
more later..unless she kills us all (i wouldn't put it past her...)
anyway, more later

news!! or not....

ok, as you can tell, i was in a rotten mood last post...yeah.
anyway
the day before yesterday was my dad's birthday. happy birthday dad!
next: the super adds: who saw that awsome add of brinestone tires (or whatever they are) with the screaming squirrel? it was awsome.
last: this morning
turns out my friend layna discoverd those vampire books, twilight, new moon, ect. aparently last night she did not sleep. she was too busy reading. every, oh, 3 to 6 minute in class this morning she started talking about edward or bella or her thoughts or something...i tried to throw a large yellow wifle ball at her., but i missed. and missed. and missed.
one more thing. heres a cute quote that zary told me:
Duct tape is The Force. it has a light side, and a dark side, and holds the universe together.
anyway, more later