HAPPINESS!

happy, happy, happy!
where do i begin?
ok, so on friday, we had AUDITIONS
not for a school play, or talent show, no, for something even better,
the Berkeley Rep's Yellow Jacket showcase!
let me explain.
a few weeks ago, my class went to see the play, Yellow Jackets.
on Monday, there is a Showcase, at the Berkeley Rep, at noon( i think..or 12:15)
for responses to the play- scenes, monologues,poems, songs, ect.
lots of BHS students will be in it.
each class gets seven minutes- so we had to pick, who, out of my drama class, would represent us.
well, my teacher did.
they picked 4 of us.
Asia.
Wyatt.
Phoebe.
and...ME!
i feel so happy.
i'll be preforming my poem 'Did You Know'
it's about how people see me based on things they know-how i look, where i live, ect, and how i respond to it.
oh, i am very happy.
and my site has 16 members now!(i want to make it to 20 by haloween. JOIN already! or tell a friend who might want to. pretty please?)
and i'm writing down all the ideas i've had for stories that i've scraped- that's all of them, besides SOD.
because in 20 years i might think, "hey, i can make something out of that story idea  now-what was that prophecy...how did that song go?" and i can look it up in  Absolute, Complete and Utter Randomness. and find the basic plot, thoughts for climaxes, character profiles and any Prophecies or songs that may be included.
plus i'm abount to begin reading "ECLIPES"
no, not THAT eclipes, don't even think i would TOUCH that book again, much less READ it, much less be HAPPY about reading it! no, no, no!
ECLIPES, by erin hunter- book 5 of 'Warriors: the power of three'
you know, i've read books with either the title, series title or subtitle 'the power of one, 'the power of two', and 'the power of  three.'
maybe i should write 'the power of four. hrmm...j/k

but anyway, i am very thrilled- and a bit nervouse- about this latest warriors book. i mean, the proluge was very forboding, and tcm rather spoiled something for me-something that worries me very much!
but i supose i should just read the dratted thing, and then i'll know. still, im in the middle of about 5 books just now
east- english
rise of a hero- sari recomended it, and irs great
lord of the flies- for english
the bar code rebelion- put on hold because i realized its a book 2, and i don't have acsess to the first
pretties- i just read 'uglies and must find out what happens next!
and i'm reading 'shadow theives' to mom, though we are almost done.
AND dad says i can move into my new room tomorrow! YAYAYAYAYA!
anyway, more later

today is not my day

uggg.
 see this? this is my' im having an icky day today' face
:*(
on my way to seminary( oh the joy of that itself!)
a cat leaped out in front of me. i didn't know what the heck it was, only that it was movement, so i swerved, just a little, hit the breaks, just a little.
but enough.
i didn't see the slowing curb, and 10 seconds after the cat leaped, i'm sprawled on the ground, scraped up, leg under my bike.
i;m not bleeping, and nothings broken, and i get on my bike, although my knee and elbow hurt, and ride to church.
i was so tired!
first period came PE. i couldn't sit out, b/c the teacher grades us on points, 5 a day, for participation and other junk.
if you sit out, you no get points.
you can make up points by running a timed mile, under 9 minutes, after school.
yeah, me? can't do that.
hello, knee huts. hello, out of shape, hello bunion that's driving me crazy because it picks the most inopportune times to ache like the dickens! O. MY. STARCLAN!
WHY, WHY, WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME SO? WHY AM I SO GENETICALLY TIGHT! WHY CAN'T I EVEN TOUCH my knees WITHOUT BENDING THEM WITHOUT HORRID, AWFUL PAIN! life really, really stinks right now.

so i'm sitting here, typing, with my thighs aching and my bunion on fire and my elbow throbbing and my calves screaming  and my knee hurting and i just want to cry.

but i can't. i just can't. because now i feel bad, because there are so many others out there suffering more, and i'm complaining about falling off my bike and scraping an elbow, like a child. but i can't help it! is it wrong to complain? to say that i hate this, that if i did have the surgery to take away my bunion so i could RUN again and not hurt, i'd be confined to bed for months? and be in crutches for even longer after that? is it?

there, i've said it, i've put my pain on paper. but i still hurt and ache and crap.
and i don't want to sit here, and i don't want to write a paper for science thats due on friday, and i don't want get up so early tomorrow and go to seminary and i want to do nothing but lie in bed and read and forgett. but i can't, because when i lie down, some bpart of me, one side or another, has to take my weight, and it hurts.

on a happy note, i'll be in my new room on saturday, and the fog is comming in!
once i'm in my room, i'll post pics, promise!
now i must go, to YW's oh joy, oh rapture! be still by beating heart!
I WANNA GO TO BED! and wake up in time for christmas vacation!
anyway, more later.

i pity those who are normal.....

.....because being nuts and sillyand random is so much fun!my book review website,http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi, just got its 14th member. this please me.
and yesterday was the berkely ward mormon church's anual new member dinner and men's cook off!
mr. mike, seminary teacher extrondinar, made home made ice cream in four awsome flavors. he lobbyed hard, getting me and a freind to pass out promo stickers 'a taset we can believe in' and 'desert first'
on the cups he used were cute slogans. my fave?
'Obama promises change.
mcCain promises change.
i promise ICE CREAM'
lol!
no, more than that,
lolshimjsc!
ha! say that five times fast!
bet you only emmza knows what it means!

abnyway, today, i gave a talk during church, about girls camp! agg! i hate giving talks.
not because i'm shy or anything, or that i don't like talking, but because...
i don't like praise.
i mean it!
everyone all'that was great' or 'i loved your talk' and i turn red and want to die!
it drives me nuts.
thats one reason i won't let my dad read my story, sod(dotw has, btw, been indefinetly postponed, due to lack of ideas)
because when he read the first half page, he was 'all this is great', and i hated it!
maybe i'm just afraid that i'll get a big ego. maybe its already too big.
but i hate complements on things i say or write or do!
is this normal? or, should i say, common? or am i alone in this strange dislike of praise.
heh.
on to other stuff: mom and i are done reading 'dragon flight' and are now reading 'the shadow theives' by anne ursu. visit my book review site for a review. heck, visit the site anyway, join, and post something. im bored!
anyway, i finnished my math homework(anyone here know what a spiralateral is? no one?)
and read the first chapter of 'lord of the flies' for english. ick! i hate it already!
ur on an island for less than a day and already youv'e got a leader and are making fun of the fat one! shame on you!
even the kids from 'island' lasted longer than that! course, they already had spent a week on a small ship and already almost died together, but still! maybe it's because it was only six people, and it wasn't all boys. huh/ must think/ponder on this.

that reminds me.
we were discussing, out of a list of made up ppl, who we'd want on a deserted island with us. no one in my group knew what a botanist was! starclan that is sad!
after i had expained to my group who we'd want and why, this one guy looks at the others and is all 'who wants to bet she could survive on a desserted island'?
i don't know if that should make me feel good or bad, but i feel good, so i'll leave it like that.
so anyway, more later!

"Chalk For Peace" and me.

hey all.
first of all, i want people to comment , share thoughts.
the most comments i got was when i said 'no comments' does that mean i should always say, "no comments!"? please post comments. interact with it, explore the ideas i lay before you! it builds brain cells!
thanks.
now, for my real entry.

chalk for peace:

at the BPL, right out in front, someone painted a huge peace sign, with the words 'Chalk  4 Global Peace.'
today, the library had tons of chalk out, in strange colors and stuff.
so, after school, for 30 minutes, i sat and worked.
i drew mini peace signs, the most common drawings.
then i wrote.
slogans were already there, 'Give peace a chance,' and, 'love is better'
someone even put 'love one another' and 'peace is the best gift we can leave to our children' someone added to the last one " so for their sakes, try'
i took a large piece of yellow, set down my pack in a corner, and wrote. moving around, i wrote different things.
" God bless the world- no exceptions"
"if war is the answer, what was the question?"
" you must be the change you wish to see in the world"
and in various places "peace" "love" "hope" and "joy".
the librarians took pictures of some of what i wrote and drew, and i felt glad.
maybe i can't cause world peace, maybe no one can. but we can try. we can try, and try, and try, and even if we fail, time and time again, we can, we will, make a change in the world.
Gandhi knew it,MLK new it, Margret Mead knew it. we can know it.
we can change this world.
we just have to give it our all, and hope we are not alone. we have to stand and try, together.
so do your part.
practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
anyway, more later

what has the world come too, and other random thoughts

the other day, i went to see "yellow Jackets' a play written by a BHS grad, about BHS in the early 90's
 one of the main plot parts, was a boycott of the school paper, the jacket, because a teacher found something that she deemed racist. it turned out that it had been plagiarized from a police report, but the idea is still there.
and i find myself asking 'why?'
why do people hurt others? why do we find it necessary? i know i'm not perfect, but....
it just makes me want to cry. so many lives have been destroyed for stupid reasons.
 a friend of mine in a class i take, is half(or quarter, i don't recall) Arab.  after 9/11, his 'friends' turn on him, calling him things like terrorist. a 9 year old had to suffer through this. it makes me ill, just the thought.
maybe its human nature to divide people into categories, try to make them fit into the little bubbles on standardized tests, black, white, Latino/a, Asian, other.
but it also human stupidity.
a folly, a lie.
no one fits into a bubble.
people see me, and think 'she's white'
but i say, i'm not.
i am American, Italian, Scottish, German, Cherokee, just a little.
white'' is not a race,  it is a bubble.
 a person from Mexico may look like someone from Costa Rica, but they are very much different. they have different customs.
people distinguish between the different African and Asian countries a lot now.. but not so much the European ones.
you are just 'white'
so i say, no, i am not. i have a mix, not of 'black' and 'white', or whatever you think of when someone says 'mix'.
race is not in your genes.
 it is a shared idea, a shared lie, created by society.
i have a color, but that is not who i am. i am who i am, i am a mix of my heritages, a mix of my family history.
i am myself, no matter who tells me anything else.
i urge you to fill in, on that next test or quiz or what have you, the most often overlooked bubble, the one you look at, fill in, erase, and fill in how you look. fill in, other.
for no one fits inside any bubble besides that one.

as for hatred and violence because of 'race', i see it like this. we are all decedent of Noah, of Adam, and ultimately, of God. or, if you don't believe in that, we all came from monkeys, who came from something else. we are one family, brothers and sisters, so many generations back. sibling fights and squabbles are normal, see my below post. but this, all the hate and awful things in the past thousand years and beyond, particularly what has happened and is happening in the past 50, is just ridiculous. just plain stupid and hateful and wrong. let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. love one another as they self. heck, thou shalt not KILL. these are words that most of man kind fails to see, or, fails to listen to.
 i believe that the world could learn so much by going to a library, to the children's section, and picking up a picture book. in those books, the true morals are simple to find.

'Spotty' is one of my favorites.
the story is of a little brown and white spotted bunny, who is left behind when the rest of his family goes to have a birthday part and their grandpa's, because grandpa doesn't think bunnies should be spotty with blue eyes.
so spotty runs away, and it begins to rain, and he is found by mr. brown, a bunny that looks just like him. spotty goes with mr. brown to eat and dry off, and meets mr. browns family. every bunny looks like him, blue eyes and brown spots...but in the corner, spotty sees a small, white bunny with pink eyes. her name is whitie, and the family says that because she looks different, they hide her, because grandma bunny thinks that bunnies should not be white with pink eyes.
spotty tells the browns about why he ran away, and that his family all look like white, and he knows now  that it is all the same, they are all bunnies, and should love each other, and the browns pull white from her little corner and kiss her and are happy, while back at spotty's house, the family feels very bad for not taking him to the party, and look for him.
they return home, and decide to look again in the morning. the next morning, rosie, one of spotty's sisters, sees the browns, who are leading spotty home, and every one rejoices, and everyone kisses everyone, and have a party, with spotty bunnies sitting with white ones, and tall bunnies next to short ones, and they eat carrots, with spotty right in the middle of it all.

anyway, make your own conclusions.
but  i like to think, that back in kindergarden, kids knew the important things in life, friends, family, love, dreams.
thats all that truly matters.
i think one 'dennis the meni\ce' cartoon sums it up nicely.
its dennis, and his friend, jackson, who is 'black'
the caption is dennis sayng, "mom, this is jackson, and we're almost the same, only he's left handed.' or something like that.
so think about what i've said in this post.
God bless the world. No exceptions'
anyway, more later

depressed, in a bad moode and sleepy.

i'm sick.
but not sick enough to stay home, oh, no...
i cough and cough until i feel like i'm going to barf, but i don't, because i'm only coughing...
i'm also teething- that is, my 12 year old molars? well, they may be almost 4 years late, but here they come. joy.
not to mention my bunion's been acting up( just in time for P.E, witch i have first period.) 'nough said
but that isn't all. my legs ache, and above all, i'm just so tiered!
i get up before the flippin crack of dawn for seminary, and its so foggy out, i can hardly see to bike down the hill.
and i'm a deep sleeper, so it takes hours to fall asleep.
the coughing doesn't help.
and we can't fdor get the spawn-of-Satan cats.
its not the cats that wake me, not usually. its tcm.
i have absolutely zero qualm about telling it like it is, even if it puts dearest tcm in a bad light. as i recall, i'm 'the evil clone' according to him, so i have every damn right.

every hour about, he slams open is stupid door, which leads into-you guessed it, my room. even though his new flippin from is ready!
and it crashes with a 'bang' and a creak into my wall, and what ever happens to be there. then he proceeds to yell at the cats, and at me, for not dealing with the cats!
well, pardon me, but i WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND DIDN'T HEAR THE DARN CATS UNTIL YOU SLAMMED YOUR FREAKING DOOR INTO MY WALL!
then it takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep. 30 more minutes later, SLAM< BAM< SCREAM

i'm so sick and tired of it. >:(
but nothing ever gets done!
i'm going to be late to PE, so i'll go now
anyway, more later

since its a new month and i have new readers, i think

i'm gonna post another ad. PLEASE join my Book review forum. we need members. if u are a member, tell ur friends. if ur not, join, and then tell ur friends.
and tell ur friends to tell friends, if you would.
http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi is the link, its also located to your right. :)
:)   now, for some crazyness
(>")><("<) huggling kirbys

(^")><("^) dancing kirbys

<( ")<(" )><( ")><(" )><( ")><(" )>
kirbys will not be moved....

(>``)>    |     <(``<)
peramus and thisby  kirby! separated by a wall. alas! they're from shakespear's midsummer nights dream's play within a play!
so, join my webbi, http://bookbat.conforums.com/index.cgi thanks
anyway, more later

i'm reading a freaking awsome book

it is called 'beastly' by alex flinn.
its a fairy tale.
but not just any fairy tale- a full lengh novle fairy tale.
but not just any full lengh novle fairy tale.- a modernized full lengh novle fairy tale.
but not just any modernized full lengh novle fairy tale- one about beauty and the beast.
but not just any modernized full lengh novle fairy tale about beauty and the beast- one told from the point of view of the beast. yay!
i love it, its amazing. i don't really mind that he was transformed-kyle(that was his name-it means handsome!) was a huge jerk. as in, kingly jerk. rotten guy. but the ending, oh the ending, all i can say is...wow!
go read it! is spactacular.
anyway, more later