expanding on ideas that i shared with my mother over breakfast

please  read the previous post if you haven't yet, as it is full of things, i know its dense, but i do reference it a bit and it is very magical!
so. lets get the facts down.
I'm all for racial equality, its just. not. at Berkeley high, there are clubs and events JUST for Latinos, or Asians, or blacks..but people from various European countries- we get none of that- and I'll bet if i tried to make a club, I'd become 'racist'! it's infuriating. if we have 'African American studies' then we can't we have 'Scandinavian' studies? sure, my ancestors weren't slaves- they were just dirt poor and not allowed to work because they were Irish, or Scottish.
if they have 'Pacific islander and Asian club' why is it racist for me to want an 'Italian' club?
i mean, its kinda annoying. ever year, i see the posters for 'Black Grad.' and other things that i can't be a part of. i don't fit into the tiny bubbles formed in this school. its a mixed school, pretty even, but...
a lot of the kids are so defensive, and it gets on my nerves. if a teacher moves a students seat, and he's[student] black and she's not, she's suddenly 'racist'. the word is thrown around a lot, used to describe 'unfairness' now. it used to have a deeper meaning. it still does, i 'm not saying that real racism isn't around- it is, and that's bad. but lately, it seems that EVERYTHING is biased, not for light skeined people, but against them. I'm lucky to grow up in Berkeley, where  debates fill classrooms, the Obama mobile drives around-yet some still have McCain stickers. it is a very divers place, but i just feel so alone, so un-included when i see signs for the Asian/Pacific Islander Association.
but back to bubbles. i told someone in one of my classes about filling in 'other', i felt rather proud you see, and she said(she's my friend) that why did i do that, they need to know that stuff.' i replied 'well, i didn't see a bubble marked 'Italian-Scottish-Swedish- American' so i filled in other. i don't fit in a bubble, and i most likely never will. nor will practically anyone in this country or many others. we live in a changing world. lets live up to it.
i really, truly urge PPLto fill in other, because there is no bubble labeled with what you are.
i long for a day when the PPL that look over the tests realize- on every test, the 'other' bubble is filled in. every test. i know, in my mind, that this will in all likelihood, never happen. but i keep on dreaming. i too, dream of a colorblind world, a world were no one understands why race or religion would be grounds for discrimination. i know that this won't come to pass until the Millennium( ask your nearest Mormon if you don't know what i mean) but still, that it's coming. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. but i have faith that it is coming. and i hope that I'm ready when it comes.

well, now i have finished my little bit about messages to the world and such.
happy stuff of today: i kept my gal: only swear three times. I've been having a problem with swearing, and decided to try to stop. i allowed myself three today, and i stayed within the limit. i feel very happy. 
i found a copy of 'Undertown' a manga I've been wanting to read for months, at the library. i also got a few ideas for SOD during PE. that reminds me!
the last week, we've been doing a tournament in PE, volleyball of course. well, yesterday, the team captain was gone, so I was the sub -captain! me! the best part?. we won both games. I'd been praying to do better- get over my fear of the ball, and i did better. today, we played the second place team( we were in first) and, well. the score was-
42-25.
we had that 42. i even scored 6 of the points! i feel so very, very happy!
well, thats about it.
so, anyway, more later

psats, Dogear, a tad bit of ranting and a mindstory update

so..been a bit since i lats blogged, but i have been swamped! gone before dawn, back after black( the sky) my days go from 5:00 am to around ten, when i fall asleep. and then there's the middle of the night water trips, or dealing with cat( i am SO sick of ppl telling me to put the cat out- if i do that IT GOES MEOW! and makes even more noise. so! and i'm writing all this while listening to the soundtrack of my life, otherwise known as my youtube playlist, as i have yet to get a functional ipod. i have also moved into my new room. the move into said new room is 95% compeat, i still have some stuff downstairs. anyway, onward!
PSATs
the sophs at BHS took them yesterday. they were ok, some of the math was hard, i didn't know a few words(only one or two!) but i think i did well. although everyone i asked(in a poll afterward) filled in the bubble that society considers them(white, black American, Asian/Pacific islander, Latino/a, i bubbled in other. i know, i know' they need to know, to help me. well, since when does the color of my skin have SQUAT to do with what i know? and besides, i didn't see' Northern European' on there. i didn't see' German' or 'Scottish' or 'Italian' on there!i didn't 'French' on there. i never even saw' European' just white. what about Russia? even though its in Asia, i bet Russians are just 'white' it . makes. me .so. sick! I AM NOT A BUBBLE! I am ANNA *******************(omitting last and middle names) AND I AM "OTHER" so there. i urge you to do likewise. please. for the sake of change. c'mon.
also, they say 'you have 30 minutes. i love that. only- i finish early most times- they tell you not to guess- you get points taken off for wrong answers. so i finished fast. and wrote the climax of my novel, SOD, version 5, in eraser on my desk. it was fun! but i've forgotten my wording. however i recall the idea. i still have my first ever draft of the end. a summery of the end, really, so changed! so, so changed! its v. diff from any of the other ending, and i like it better- i shall reveal this new ending idea to no one!, so if you thought you knew- maybe you don't now! ha!


DOGEAR
dogear is the play i am in. i've been going to rehearsals everyday almost, for about 3 hours. it's hard work, but it is a really great play. the writer is a great guy, and really funny. the plot is as follows- minus awesome suprise ending that even the characters do not see coming!
in a disatopian semi-future, everything is corporate. all coffee is Starbucks, all sandwich's are subway, all books are chain bookstore. the libraries are dead, with no funding. but, enter ian and ell, a middle aged, book store accountant and adventures, idealistic coffee girl, who are pulled into a ..conspiracy to undermine the system and bring back library's, in this play about readers, rebels, and writing your own ending. i'll post show times and places later. it is free.


tad bit of ranting
so i'm mormon, everyone here knows it, right? well, you do now.  most other sects of Christianity don't think of us as Christians, which to me makes no sense, i mean, i believe in God, i Believe in my Savior, Jesus Christ and that He died for my sins and the sins of the world. can't we all get along, please? but no... it seems we can't.
my Pet Peave of the day: when someone tells you to 'just ignore it' DON'T YOU GUYS GET THAT IT JUST DOESN"T WORK FOR SOME THINGS?
so i've been having issues with a couple of Born-agains. i respect that they believe in that, and i'd be perfectly fine with the whole thing, i try to fallow that one bumpersticker' coexist ' written in religious symbols. but THEY won't leave me alone. they tell me daily that i'm' not christian' 'am following the devil' 'am going to burn in hell' and various other things. the first few days i ignored it.( if you want to know how it is they know, i was com paining to a friend about seminary.)
after that, i started saying ' when, i personaly DO believe in Jesus Christ, and axcept Him as my Savior. what is your definition of being Christian?' or  ' believe what you want, and i'll believe what i want. no, can we get back to the math?' or someting like that. finaly, i blew up and shout, at lunch, after many days' fine, see you there' i stoprmed off feeling angery and quite proud. didn't last long, but hey.
a few days before this, he brought up batism for the dead( which, btw, is in the new testement as well!) and i said something like 'well, yeah.  what about ppl that didn't learn about christ?' and he kept going on about everyone knowing somehow, and i'm like 'well, how about the ppl in , oh, say, AFRICA 80 years before his birth? how could they have known?' do they need to burn in hell. its just a little strange...' and turned asreound but he kept going on, and on, and on. so right now i am very sick of bornagains. not all born-agains, just two.but oh!
why cant everyone just respect everyone elses beliefes? for heavens sake!. sigh.
'we claim the privlage of whorshiping almighty God acording to the dictates of our own consience and alow ALL men( and children and women) the same privlege, let them worship how, where or what they may.' the end! i ahgree! unless thebelieve involves : belittling others, killing people. and i'm pretty sure most don't involve those... the POLITICAL part of a religion might, but not the SIRITUAL park. i think. not sure...hmm. but didn't Jesus say ' whatsoever you do to the least[ and presumily all others] of my brethern, you do unto me'? so when someone  condems ME to hell...woohee! i guess ole bornagain better stop. but seriosly. is it really so hard to respect? really? no ones asking you to agree, or convert , just acknolage , and not be mean. 

mind story update
Sod is henceforth my main focus, however i keep a notebook abd computer files with various ideas and storys that i play around with at randown times, including 'DotW' 'Ikenna', ' Whisper of earth and sky'aka 'Remembering Peace', 'unicornboy'(only  mindstory thus far) and ' child of the elements.'
plot summaries will be posted  when i a. have time.
b. creat sentaces to go with ideas.
c. give a back story to the random charater profiles!

anyway, it is late, (but i have no seminary tomorrow, haliluja!) so off i go. i bet no one read this whole thing....

anyway, more later

why can't i just go live on an island far away from everyone eles(with internet acsess, of course)

i am extreamly ticked off today.
you might ask why?
well, 1. im very sleepy. tcm got back yesterday, and of course, had jet lang. there are thousands of things to to at midnight, without waking up a very tierd girl in pain, but of course, he can't do any of that, oh no. he has to get up at midnight, and through out the night. but even thats not enoughm, he has to say, to himself, loudly 'i'm gonna make some nice hot chocolate' and 'walker, want some food'
as far as i know, feeding a cat and making hot choclate do not requier commentary, nor to they requir slamming already creaky bedroom doors. but i must be mistaken.
and then lits back track to 'girl in pain' why, might you ask, am i in pain? for one my anlke has been hurting like crazy for days, and for abnother, i have painful floor-burns on both knees, and elbows.
it was a YW/YM activity (church) i can't bend very far, i'm very tight. its some genetic thing. bending over, i can just touch my knees, then it hurts, badly.
so for the activity, i had to race, pushing this rollor. i thought i could do it, but i was wrong. after i fell the second time, and got hurt, the other team, made up over 12-13 year old girls, started laughing at me. i couldent stand. when i finished my turn, i limped up onto a table. the leader insisted they were 'laughing with me' but for the record, i sure as hell wasn't laughing. there are some of those girls that i could just kill. while i pressed a cold compress to one knee, one of them kept jeering at my teammates. she must think she's qeen. i told her to shut it, and she got all bratty on me 'don't talk to me like that'
well, some needs to, cuz other wise, the bay area's gonna end up with another princess amaila (dragon slippers refrence)
so theres that.
and today, tcm has the nerve to call me'evil clone' on his blog, and throse this mini-fit, which he does often enough, and storms out the door. of course, its my fault.
it allways is. cause i'm partaly deaf of something, and natraly talk loud, so everyopne hears what i sayu, but never what he says. sibling equality? oximoron.
reminder: if any part of this post angers you, though it out, carri around your burdens for nine mo nths, then complain about it to me. thats what i end up toning. heven forbid i ever complain (grounded, and a screaming at from dad.)
 more later, unless i pull up enough bravery to run away and stay away for more than a few hours. though my foot would have to heal first, and thats never gonna happen.
im just really, really depressed and angery right niw, and i can't complain to my rents.
anyway, more later