expanding on ideas that i shared with my mother over breakfast

please  read the previous post if you haven't yet, as it is full of things, i know its dense, but i do reference it a bit and it is very magical!
so. lets get the facts down.
I'm all for racial equality, its just. not. at Berkeley high, there are clubs and events JUST for Latinos, or Asians, or blacks..but people from various European countries- we get none of that- and I'll bet if i tried to make a club, I'd become 'racist'! it's infuriating. if we have 'African American studies' then we can't we have 'Scandinavian' studies? sure, my ancestors weren't slaves- they were just dirt poor and not allowed to work because they were Irish, or Scottish.
if they have 'Pacific islander and Asian club' why is it racist for me to want an 'Italian' club?
i mean, its kinda annoying. ever year, i see the posters for 'Black Grad.' and other things that i can't be a part of. i don't fit into the tiny bubbles formed in this school. its a mixed school, pretty even, but...
a lot of the kids are so defensive, and it gets on my nerves. if a teacher moves a students seat, and he's[student] black and she's not, she's suddenly 'racist'. the word is thrown around a lot, used to describe 'unfairness' now. it used to have a deeper meaning. it still does, i 'm not saying that real racism isn't around- it is, and that's bad. but lately, it seems that EVERYTHING is biased, not for light skeined people, but against them. I'm lucky to grow up in Berkeley, where  debates fill classrooms, the Obama mobile drives around-yet some still have McCain stickers. it is a very divers place, but i just feel so alone, so un-included when i see signs for the Asian/Pacific Islander Association.
but back to bubbles. i told someone in one of my classes about filling in 'other', i felt rather proud you see, and she said(she's my friend) that why did i do that, they need to know that stuff.' i replied 'well, i didn't see a bubble marked 'Italian-Scottish-Swedish- American' so i filled in other. i don't fit in a bubble, and i most likely never will. nor will practically anyone in this country or many others. we live in a changing world. lets live up to it.
i really, truly urge PPLto fill in other, because there is no bubble labeled with what you are.
i long for a day when the PPL that look over the tests realize- on every test, the 'other' bubble is filled in. every test. i know, in my mind, that this will in all likelihood, never happen. but i keep on dreaming. i too, dream of a colorblind world, a world were no one understands why race or religion would be grounds for discrimination. i know that this won't come to pass until the Millennium( ask your nearest Mormon if you don't know what i mean) but still, that it's coming. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. but i have faith that it is coming. and i hope that I'm ready when it comes.

well, now i have finished my little bit about messages to the world and such.
happy stuff of today: i kept my gal: only swear three times. I've been having a problem with swearing, and decided to try to stop. i allowed myself three today, and i stayed within the limit. i feel very happy. 
i found a copy of 'Undertown' a manga I've been wanting to read for months, at the library. i also got a few ideas for SOD during PE. that reminds me!
the last week, we've been doing a tournament in PE, volleyball of course. well, yesterday, the team captain was gone, so I was the sub -captain! me! the best part?. we won both games. I'd been praying to do better- get over my fear of the ball, and i did better. today, we played the second place team( we were in first) and, well. the score was-
42-25.
we had that 42. i even scored 6 of the points! i feel so very, very happy!
well, thats about it.
so, anyway, more later

psats, Dogear, a tad bit of ranting and a mindstory update

so..been a bit since i lats blogged, but i have been swamped! gone before dawn, back after black( the sky) my days go from 5:00 am to around ten, when i fall asleep. and then there's the middle of the night water trips, or dealing with cat( i am SO sick of ppl telling me to put the cat out- if i do that IT GOES MEOW! and makes even more noise. so! and i'm writing all this while listening to the soundtrack of my life, otherwise known as my youtube playlist, as i have yet to get a functional ipod. i have also moved into my new room. the move into said new room is 95% compeat, i still have some stuff downstairs. anyway, onward!
PSATs
the sophs at BHS took them yesterday. they were ok, some of the math was hard, i didn't know a few words(only one or two!) but i think i did well. although everyone i asked(in a poll afterward) filled in the bubble that society considers them(white, black American, Asian/Pacific islander, Latino/a, i bubbled in other. i know, i know' they need to know, to help me. well, since when does the color of my skin have SQUAT to do with what i know? and besides, i didn't see' Northern European' on there. i didn't see' German' or 'Scottish' or 'Italian' on there!i didn't 'French' on there. i never even saw' European' just white. what about Russia? even though its in Asia, i bet Russians are just 'white' it . makes. me .so. sick! I AM NOT A BUBBLE! I am ANNA *******************(omitting last and middle names) AND I AM "OTHER" so there. i urge you to do likewise. please. for the sake of change. c'mon.
also, they say 'you have 30 minutes. i love that. only- i finish early most times- they tell you not to guess- you get points taken off for wrong answers. so i finished fast. and wrote the climax of my novel, SOD, version 5, in eraser on my desk. it was fun! but i've forgotten my wording. however i recall the idea. i still have my first ever draft of the end. a summery of the end, really, so changed! so, so changed! its v. diff from any of the other ending, and i like it better- i shall reveal this new ending idea to no one!, so if you thought you knew- maybe you don't now! ha!


DOGEAR
dogear is the play i am in. i've been going to rehearsals everyday almost, for about 3 hours. it's hard work, but it is a really great play. the writer is a great guy, and really funny. the plot is as follows- minus awesome suprise ending that even the characters do not see coming!
in a disatopian semi-future, everything is corporate. all coffee is Starbucks, all sandwich's are subway, all books are chain bookstore. the libraries are dead, with no funding. but, enter ian and ell, a middle aged, book store accountant and adventures, idealistic coffee girl, who are pulled into a ..conspiracy to undermine the system and bring back library's, in this play about readers, rebels, and writing your own ending. i'll post show times and places later. it is free.


tad bit of ranting
so i'm mormon, everyone here knows it, right? well, you do now.  most other sects of Christianity don't think of us as Christians, which to me makes no sense, i mean, i believe in God, i Believe in my Savior, Jesus Christ and that He died for my sins and the sins of the world. can't we all get along, please? but no... it seems we can't.
my Pet Peave of the day: when someone tells you to 'just ignore it' DON'T YOU GUYS GET THAT IT JUST DOESN"T WORK FOR SOME THINGS?
so i've been having issues with a couple of Born-agains. i respect that they believe in that, and i'd be perfectly fine with the whole thing, i try to fallow that one bumpersticker' coexist ' written in religious symbols. but THEY won't leave me alone. they tell me daily that i'm' not christian' 'am following the devil' 'am going to burn in hell' and various other things. the first few days i ignored it.( if you want to know how it is they know, i was com paining to a friend about seminary.)
after that, i started saying ' when, i personaly DO believe in Jesus Christ, and axcept Him as my Savior. what is your definition of being Christian?' or  ' believe what you want, and i'll believe what i want. no, can we get back to the math?' or someting like that. finaly, i blew up and shout, at lunch, after many days' fine, see you there' i stoprmed off feeling angery and quite proud. didn't last long, but hey.
a few days before this, he brought up batism for the dead( which, btw, is in the new testement as well!) and i said something like 'well, yeah.  what about ppl that didn't learn about christ?' and he kept going on about everyone knowing somehow, and i'm like 'well, how about the ppl in , oh, say, AFRICA 80 years before his birth? how could they have known?' do they need to burn in hell. its just a little strange...' and turned asreound but he kept going on, and on, and on. so right now i am very sick of bornagains. not all born-agains, just two.but oh!
why cant everyone just respect everyone elses beliefes? for heavens sake!. sigh.
'we claim the privlage of whorshiping almighty God acording to the dictates of our own consience and alow ALL men( and children and women) the same privlege, let them worship how, where or what they may.' the end! i ahgree! unless thebelieve involves : belittling others, killing people. and i'm pretty sure most don't involve those... the POLITICAL part of a religion might, but not the SIRITUAL park. i think. not sure...hmm. but didn't Jesus say ' whatsoever you do to the least[ and presumily all others] of my brethern, you do unto me'? so when someone  condems ME to hell...woohee! i guess ole bornagain better stop. but seriosly. is it really so hard to respect? really? no ones asking you to agree, or convert , just acknolage , and not be mean. 

mind story update
Sod is henceforth my main focus, however i keep a notebook abd computer files with various ideas and storys that i play around with at randown times, including 'DotW' 'Ikenna', ' Whisper of earth and sky'aka 'Remembering Peace', 'unicornboy'(only  mindstory thus far) and ' child of the elements.'
plot summaries will be posted  when i a. have time.
b. creat sentaces to go with ideas.
c. give a back story to the random charater profiles!

anyway, it is late, (but i have no seminary tomorrow, haliluja!) so off i go. i bet no one read this whole thing....

anyway, more later

"Chalk For Peace" and me.

hey all.
first of all, i want people to comment , share thoughts.
the most comments i got was when i said 'no comments' does that mean i should always say, "no comments!"? please post comments. interact with it, explore the ideas i lay before you! it builds brain cells!
thanks.
now, for my real entry.

chalk for peace:

at the BPL, right out in front, someone painted a huge peace sign, with the words 'Chalk  4 Global Peace.'
today, the library had tons of chalk out, in strange colors and stuff.
so, after school, for 30 minutes, i sat and worked.
i drew mini peace signs, the most common drawings.
then i wrote.
slogans were already there, 'Give peace a chance,' and, 'love is better'
someone even put 'love one another' and 'peace is the best gift we can leave to our children' someone added to the last one " so for their sakes, try'
i took a large piece of yellow, set down my pack in a corner, and wrote. moving around, i wrote different things.
" God bless the world- no exceptions"
"if war is the answer, what was the question?"
" you must be the change you wish to see in the world"
and in various places "peace" "love" "hope" and "joy".
the librarians took pictures of some of what i wrote and drew, and i felt glad.
maybe i can't cause world peace, maybe no one can. but we can try. we can try, and try, and try, and even if we fail, time and time again, we can, we will, make a change in the world.
Gandhi knew it,MLK new it, Margret Mead knew it. we can know it.
we can change this world.
we just have to give it our all, and hope we are not alone. we have to stand and try, together.
so do your part.
practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
anyway, more later

what has the world come too, and other random thoughts

the other day, i went to see "yellow Jackets' a play written by a BHS grad, about BHS in the early 90's
 one of the main plot parts, was a boycott of the school paper, the jacket, because a teacher found something that she deemed racist. it turned out that it had been plagiarized from a police report, but the idea is still there.
and i find myself asking 'why?'
why do people hurt others? why do we find it necessary? i know i'm not perfect, but....
it just makes me want to cry. so many lives have been destroyed for stupid reasons.
 a friend of mine in a class i take, is half(or quarter, i don't recall) Arab.  after 9/11, his 'friends' turn on him, calling him things like terrorist. a 9 year old had to suffer through this. it makes me ill, just the thought.
maybe its human nature to divide people into categories, try to make them fit into the little bubbles on standardized tests, black, white, Latino/a, Asian, other.
but it also human stupidity.
a folly, a lie.
no one fits into a bubble.
people see me, and think 'she's white'
but i say, i'm not.
i am American, Italian, Scottish, German, Cherokee, just a little.
white'' is not a race,  it is a bubble.
 a person from Mexico may look like someone from Costa Rica, but they are very much different. they have different customs.
people distinguish between the different African and Asian countries a lot now.. but not so much the European ones.
you are just 'white'
so i say, no, i am not. i have a mix, not of 'black' and 'white', or whatever you think of when someone says 'mix'.
race is not in your genes.
 it is a shared idea, a shared lie, created by society.
i have a color, but that is not who i am. i am who i am, i am a mix of my heritages, a mix of my family history.
i am myself, no matter who tells me anything else.
i urge you to fill in, on that next test or quiz or what have you, the most often overlooked bubble, the one you look at, fill in, erase, and fill in how you look. fill in, other.
for no one fits inside any bubble besides that one.

as for hatred and violence because of 'race', i see it like this. we are all decedent of Noah, of Adam, and ultimately, of God. or, if you don't believe in that, we all came from monkeys, who came from something else. we are one family, brothers and sisters, so many generations back. sibling fights and squabbles are normal, see my below post. but this, all the hate and awful things in the past thousand years and beyond, particularly what has happened and is happening in the past 50, is just ridiculous. just plain stupid and hateful and wrong. let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. love one another as they self. heck, thou shalt not KILL. these are words that most of man kind fails to see, or, fails to listen to.
 i believe that the world could learn so much by going to a library, to the children's section, and picking up a picture book. in those books, the true morals are simple to find.

'Spotty' is one of my favorites.
the story is of a little brown and white spotted bunny, who is left behind when the rest of his family goes to have a birthday part and their grandpa's, because grandpa doesn't think bunnies should be spotty with blue eyes.
so spotty runs away, and it begins to rain, and he is found by mr. brown, a bunny that looks just like him. spotty goes with mr. brown to eat and dry off, and meets mr. browns family. every bunny looks like him, blue eyes and brown spots...but in the corner, spotty sees a small, white bunny with pink eyes. her name is whitie, and the family says that because she looks different, they hide her, because grandma bunny thinks that bunnies should not be white with pink eyes.
spotty tells the browns about why he ran away, and that his family all look like white, and he knows now  that it is all the same, they are all bunnies, and should love each other, and the browns pull white from her little corner and kiss her and are happy, while back at spotty's house, the family feels very bad for not taking him to the party, and look for him.
they return home, and decide to look again in the morning. the next morning, rosie, one of spotty's sisters, sees the browns, who are leading spotty home, and every one rejoices, and everyone kisses everyone, and have a party, with spotty bunnies sitting with white ones, and tall bunnies next to short ones, and they eat carrots, with spotty right in the middle of it all.

anyway, make your own conclusions.
but  i like to think, that back in kindergarden, kids knew the important things in life, friends, family, love, dreams.
thats all that truly matters.
i think one 'dennis the meni\ce' cartoon sums it up nicely.
its dennis, and his friend, jackson, who is 'black'
the caption is dennis sayng, "mom, this is jackson, and we're almost the same, only he's left handed.' or something like that.
so think about what i've said in this post.
God bless the world. No exceptions'
anyway, more later

a yahoo answer

i was hanging out on yahoo, when i saw this question, and this answer.

What impressed you most about Anne Frank? Explain.?


The fact that she doesn't give up hope in mankind. The quote, "I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.", made me think. I don't think could have gone through what she did and still believe that mankind even had hearts. It makes me sad, to think about how much damage man has done. Anne is an insperation to us all, an example. I know that we can not change her story's end, no matter how hard we would hope. But we can keep it from ending like that again,for someone else, if only the world would listen to a girl wise beyond her years, to the words that she wrote. If only. Spread the word, maybe we can help the dreams of so many come true. Maybe we can't, but we can push it a little closer, a little nearer, just like Anne.
I long for a world without hate.
Peace, Love,Hope, and all that good stuff.

another answer said:
Her good heart. I love the journal entry in which she says, "I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart." It made me cry.

Anne Frank was wise beyond her years. She seems like such a sweet and intelligent person. She seems so... good. Some of my absolute favorite quotes come from Anne Frank.

I love the fact that she was always so optimistic... that she still held on hope. That she was purehearted enough to be able to see the good in a horrible situation.




this touched me, and i hope it made you think.
it  makes me feel joyful, and depressed, all at once.
i need to post something light hearted now!

anyway , more later