sad, sad, sad.

all i want to do is cry.
everyone here knows about how i was going to be in the school talent show, right? how hard i worked, what i missed to go to meetings.
all for nothing.
last night, as i was doing math, i got a call.
'is this Anna Sophia?'
"yes"
"I'm from the talent show.'
"yeah?"
"we had to cut you."
(in a soft voice. )"OK..."
click.
i started to cry. was it true? i had worked so hard for this, written a verse to the song i was singing to make it better, practiced for hours, giving up time. to be told the day before that i wasn't in it.
now i wish i had said something like this. " no. put me back in. i have worked to damn hard for this, spent to much energy. you cannot call the night before, less than 24 hours before and just say 'sorry, we cut you' no. you should have called me before i canceled other plans, before i spent hours learning and perfecting my song. before i missed dinner Wednesday to go to the last rehearsal. before i was up for 19 hours strait, because i had to go to a talent show meeting instead of napping before a baby sitting job.
before i spent hours deciding what to wear, how to do my hair, how to move as i sang. before i borrowed money from my brothers friend, who won't let me forget it, to pay for the bus ride home after one of the meetings. before i put my heart into this. before i spent those hours dreaming about being onstage, singing with all my soul, alone for the first time, with nothing of overshadow me. before the night before. so put me back.
i was at the rehearsals, we fit almost perfectly.
kick out the ones that missed all the meetings, the 'mandatory' meetings. cut the acts of those with 4 or 5 or 7 minutes, not people like me, with two. kick out those that were late to the practice, who didn't pay attention to the director. but put me back in. it is rude and cruel to call now, after all I've done. after all I've dreamed. and if you don't, I'm gonna sing anyway. you can't do this to me. not now."

these are the thoughts rushing through me now, pushing to me heard, shouting in my mind.
i cried for a long time last night.
it was all i could do to keep my self from ripping down the posters that i had so diligently posted, from the walls and bulletin boards of the school.
today, i told my friend, Tati, about it. one of the kids in my class, one of the rude, cruel kids in my Spanish class, over heard. within minutes, half the class was saying stuff like 'they kicked u out cause you ain't got no talent'. 'no talent.' 'no talent'. we had a sub that day. it got louder, the sub did nothing. they started to say the things with other insults, calling me bad names and words i won't repeat. it was to much. i got up and told the teacher. write me a pass to the library. i will not stay here. i am leaving, with or without that pass.
a minute later, Tati and i, passes in hand, were reading manga and Robin McKinley in the school library.
but i can't get the voices of them, of Gibreal and Rashad, or Greg (aka, G) and of Alonzo and James and the others, out of my head. they echo, 'no talent. no talent, B****, you have no talent, no talent'
i hate high school.
anyway, more later

sleep sounds very nice right now

all i want to do is sleeep....
but im posting this while i wait for my essy on the medea to print..
and its done, off i go to dream land!

friday night....

oh man am i sleepy!
i was up for 19 hours strait!
this was my day
5:00 get up
6:15-7:15 seminary
7:15-3:15 school
3:30-4:00 talent show meeting
4:15-4:35- wait for bus
4:36- 5:00 bus ride
5:00-5:17 walk home from bus stop
5:30-12:05 baby sit for my buddy, sean
12:09 bed!!!!

sean and i had plent of fun though
we made movies on youube,
about an index card house.
in the first movie it is desroyed by a lego gun
in the next, by an eivl robot mouse.
we plan to make more evil robot muse movies!
anyway, more later.

uh....hello everyone.

hi.
mm...i'm racking my brain for news to tell you, and i'm drawing a blank. but then, you guys know how bad i am at drawing! well, today i re-organized my bookshelves, so now i have room to spare, somthing i haven't had in months. also i think that the two jerks that flash laser pointers at me and the magic card gang turning 0 period won't be bothing us anymore...hee hee hee......
i worked on alternet endings for my novle, 'the stones of destiny' durning english class, and continued typing my other, which still has no name, after i walked up from the bus.
i re-read 'widow's revenge' the sequel to the lds-written 'serpent tide' by k. l. fogg, in preperation for the third, possibly final instalment, 'dimondback cave'

for my latest photo project i took picturs of my cats, one of which is asleep on my dad's desk-she thinks she's a paper wieght! the cats are black and white, and so is my film (ok, so the cats are white and black and brown) so it should look cool enough.

oh!
the library insisted that most of the books on my list of requests (i followed your advise)
were
a) to new to get ( the newest was about 9 months old, most were closer to 4 years, 3 were even closer to 10 or 11 years, can you say ' yeah right'?)
or

b) in their possision, i just need to look harder, or they were checked out. ( i looked in all four places, doble looked, then checked the catolog. none of the suronding librarys has ANY of them, and still the lady points to my list, compleat with title, author, publishing company and year. and says 'we have these. what makes you think we don't?" grr!)


i was trying to see about one of the books they 'had', 'aliens stole my body' (book four in a set ( strangly, book 3 was too 'new' for them to get) and found that
a) no, they did not have it
b) no nearby librarys had it
c) the author was not in the catolog, meaning that they had none of his books.( and i quote 'no matchs found for AUTHOR: Coville, Bruce. i also tried ' Bruce Coville' and a number f misspelling')

now, i had had a very rough day (spanish teacher from hell) so feeling rather pretrubed, i went to the shelf, plucked a book by that author, put the mouse behing the screen, stuckthe book onthe key bord and placed this note: 'no bruce coville? yeah right.'

now, this note thing happend seveal days ago, as did the list.
as of today, none of the books 'i(i expected that) and the computer still insistes that many authors do not have books in the near by libraries.
im confused. i thought that the purpose of those comps was to help us find what we were looking for. i can't even use it to find a book i know they have, unless it's harry potter or warriors.

oh yeah. there are some pretty darn cool warrior's vids. online. check out the official one at http://www.warriorcats.com/. it rocks....

and i thought i didn't have much to say!
wish me luck at tomorrow's spanish class....ugg....


anyway, more later

greetings from the planet mormulack

well, ok, so i lied. this has nothing to do with mormulack. deal with it. it sounds cool.
henceforth, tonydee will be called antonio. i have spoken.


i like sugar.

i love my kitty.

last night my kitty ate my blanket.

or tried to.


goobye

anyway,more later