Oh dear, it has been far too long

i would love to say i had a perfectly wonderful excuse for not blogging, however i do not.
don't eat me.
well, quite a lot has happened since i last posted.
i am now on chapter 10 of my digimon fan fiction

i am 16 years of age now :)

i'm surviving PE.. i guess we are doing basket ball now

i auditioned for and did not make the school musical...

i memorized about 1/2 the les miz soundtrack.

my room is cleaner.

i wrote a really good( in my opinion) essay in history about the Philosophes., and got an A plus on it- i may post it, if you ask

i um...( what else did i do?) thought i had a wisdom tooth, but it was really a huge canker sore that made it impossible to speak for 3 days.

i began work on a little writing project about the story of the six swans- from the PoV of the sister.

i have not worked on SOD, as i am very stuck.... same gos for DOTW and U.

i wrote some poetry

what is comming up:
i'm auditioning for the talent show- with a poem! lets hope we don't have a repeat of last year!

i am preforming a scene based of the Les Miz musical finale in drama..with friends. and i'm the only one who REALLY knows the tune- but that doesn't matter if we have fun

i'm thinking about joining the teen playreaders club..

i'm going to a young weomens activity ..a book discussion..where we will eat chocolate brownie/cake and discus one of my fave books- dragon slippers!

i have a new pen name- Hegdi Naysomay Aisling. pretty odd, huh?

mom and i are reading Sisters grimm.

dad and i just finnished ' the outriders'

please join book bats- i will be rejoining soon! as in, be on more often! promise!
anyway, more later!

5 impossible things i want for Christmas

i challenge people to do this, just because.

• The Swing to return. The Swing, by the way, was an amazingly cool swing made of blue rope, hanging from a tree growing on a hill, so that when you swung, the ground just dropped away from you. i have never felt so free as when i was on The Swing. it was very inspiring. last spring, it was cut down...
• my cats to be friends. i had determined that they hate each other due to the reason of many wars: no, not oil, but religion. Lucy loves to sit on my lap as i tell her Christmas or biblical stories, Walker always hisses and claws at me/the book. so i have come to that very strange, sugar induced conclusion.
• some major plot bunnies. plot bunnies are those annoying, pesky, beautiful little ideas that come to you at inconvenient times- like as you fall asleep, when you are in the shower, or while taking the PSAT. i haven't had one in weeks- so Sod isn't even inching along, its just sitting there, and Dark Serenity( DS) is running on the chapters i wrote last month- and i'm running out.
• Snow, here, in my yard, at my gramma's, and enough to make a snowman. not gonna happen till 'the day after tomorrow' comes to life. still, i wish.
• world peace. who doesn't want it? oh, right, those people don't...well, i sure want it. anyone else with me on this one?

ok, so those were my five impossible Christmas wants. post yours!
anyway, more later

on the 3rd day till chrismas i...

OH HOLY NIGHT!
well, i survived finals. they included:
ping pong
two tests
a practice exit exam- no calculator.
a monologue i wrote- i was penny, an idealistic young penguin who things that the Obamadouble snowman ( don't ask) is holding the penguin's ability to fly captive in a jar- so i rally my friends and we try to 'rescue our captive inheritance!'
and...
i had to turn one of the creepiest books of all time- lord of the flies- into a gender reversed, child friendly picture book! in 5 days! agg!
but i did it, some how.

then on Sunday, i sang in church- me and sari, my friend sang, with mom on the violin and dad on the English horn. it was amazing.

I am largely responsible for any and almost all Christmas gifts- picking out, getting, wrapping. i have been for several years now. I'm finally done- i got everyone the perfect gift, i think. and no- I'm not telling. there is one gift though, that i loved to get, and omsc, it is so perfect for the certain person i got it for, and i wish i could see that persons face when s/he opens it.
and then there's the matter of yet another gift- one that i discovered to my shock/amazement/joy. i think i shouted in the store that it was a Christmas miracle.

but anyway, the gifts are wrapped, labeled and ready. the house is clean, including my room, and i even put all my books on the shelves- and have room to spare, since i sold about 100 of them- mostly cheap paperbacks and the store ripped me off, but hey.

i now have posted 3 chapters of 'dark serenity' and have several followers on fan fiction, making me very happy. I've got the fourth written down, though my SOD work has been slow. nothing done. still, Christmas is a time of magic- the plot bunnies will be coming soon, i hope.

mom's in a funk because of being tired and being in charge of Christmas eve and day dinners..so I've been doing all the other work- cleaning and reading aloud. we are reading 'the healer's keep' by Victoria Hanley. read it- read it, read it! it is amazing.

my friends genun and zary are on vacation- in ISRAEL of all places. and i learned how to make those cute origami wish stars. and I'm preparing for another monologue for the week after break
a speech from a book.
'The Goose Girl'
it's the one where Ani is being awesome and pwning the King/ king's counselors.
you know the one. 'you want evidence?'
that one.
if anyone has no clue what i'm saying, then as a Christmas gift, please for the love of good books, go read The Goose Girl, by Shanon Hale

speaking of books- is there anyone else who'd love to see Mary Wollstonecraft debate with Stephenie Meyer? if you don't know who MW is- she was a Philosphe who was bigg on equality of the sexes and that women should want the rights and not let me govern their rights, ect. ever elegent writting. i like her. she's dead- but still, i would LOVE to see them verbally duke it out. am i alone in this?

so happy holidays, whatever it is you celebrate- or at least have a merry-two-weeks-off.
anyway, more later.

OW! meOW!and snOW!

it rained today.
that is good and bad.
good: rain is my muse- i just seem to write better. and it makes the world so clean and green!
bad: the death trap my school calls a gym has a leaky roof. i discovered that one should avoid running through puddles today, even if they are trying to get the ball, and don't see the puddle, because this puddle isn't surrounded by plastic cones like the others.
ow...
so i chased after the ball, and didn't see the puddle, and my feet fly out from under me and crack. Ms. Anna's head meets Mr. Floor. i hurt.
so i went to the health center and they gave me ice ( did it help that i was crying and holding my head?) and tried to survive.'course, I'm not allowed to rest, just in case( no sleeping) so i had to skip my lunch time nap- i need one, i get up at 5 for pity's sake!
and all through the day THEY have a good laugh about how my hair didn't protect me. i finally said" Antoine, can it. contrary to popular belief, although it is semi-water proof, my hair is not a force field'. and i stalked off.
speaking of stalking off- i no longer like Erin Hunter'
s Warriors- not because my tastes have matured, but because i simply think that the plot is ridiculous and awful- so i no longer like it. the first arc is still OK, but the others- i really don't like them. on the topic of books- the little fantasy/sci-fi shop by my school has foster kittens living in the back. aw, so cute!
it snowed here.
did you read that right?
it. snowed. here.( here being the top of the hill where i live- 900 ft above my home)
here. in CALIFORNIA. IN THE BAY AREA. SNOW.
yes, snow. the fluffy white flaky stuff that's cold, and melts.
that means it was below freeing.
better go find my long johns. and ski-parka. its only going to get colder.
anyway, more later. unless that bump on my head IS a concussion and it gets way, way, way below freezing here, in which case there will be no more later. lets not dwell on that.

dreary.

warning: there will be hints at swearing. only in quotes.

i had a Great, glory weekend. I cleaned my room while listening to Les Miz soundtrack, singing along! I also began work on a digimon fanfic, entitled 'Dark Serenity'. I Posted chapter one, and got some positive reviews, so I'm glad. I plan on updating it once a week- long enough to build suspense, but not long enough to drive readers insane with worry. Its been really fun to work on- I've had the plot in my mind for months but i'm only just starting to write it.( give it a try if you feel like it...)
Sadly, my Glory gave way to sorrow. P.E. Personal Endangerment. Painful Endurance. In short, hell on earth.
today was horrid.i was forced into being goalie,and the other team- we are playing team handball- through the ball hard. even some of my own team pummeled me. Finally i couldn't take anymore- i could hardly stand. the ball slammed into my upper arm- the same arm that still hurt from being knocked to the ground twice the day before. i started to cry, the pain overwhelming. I limped to the sidelines, and the teacher came over' is there anything i can do' ' that's what happens when you are goalie' etc. i just wanted to be alone.
leaving the gym, Alma, the bane of my existence, my personal devil to go with my personal hell, got in my face. in her getto-girl accent( though shes not, she only acts like it) she asked' you got it.' well, I'm crying and limping and holding my left arm to my chest in an awkward position. does she need to ask, i wonder? no, she only needs confirmation.
" it's'a rubber ball, they don't hurt, faker. you need to toughen up, wimp.' she said more, but i don't hear. my blood boils.
i did something then, in the moment, i flipped her off. i didn't mean to- it just happened. I'd been getting better about swearing and anger, but i was so angry. how DARE she tell me if i am in pain or not!
i did it to her back, after she's knocked me to the ground, but a leech tells her. she starts harassing me, calling me names, saying 'I'm gonna beat your motherf***ing ***' and other things, getting in my face, calling me a b****. i only cry silently- harder. I'm so sick of this. of all of this. everything. i wrote on my math paper, over and over, ihatethishellihatethishellihatethishell...
i want it to end.
don't give me that look. i don't want to die. i'm not that kind of person. i just want the pain to stop, to be able to cry when i hurt, to not have to worry what each day brings.
my father says i look thinner.
when your heart rate goes up, you burn calories. my heart rate is always up- worrying that today will be the day my bones give out, my weak ankles snap, my abused fingers crack, my ribs, so sick of the jabs and handballs, break, and i hit the floor from the agony, and crack my skull. it will happen. not today, not tomorrow. but one day. one day. and so my heart beat quickens the moment i hear the bell ring' beep beep. beep beep.' and the whistle is blown.
to day i limped the rest of the day. last week my left hand was useless from numbness. yesterday my lips were bloody from biting them so hard to keep from crying- to keep from drawing the attention of the jackals.
my guardian angles have abandoned me.
anyway, more later.